Ordinary Day
by Yamchas Big Pants
Summary: rating for violence, and lime. When the noble mission to collect exspheres becomes a soulwrenching sentence, can Lloyd subject Colette to it any longer? LxC Colloyd, Please review! Chapter 11 posted! Complete! Thanks all reviewers!
1. Chapter 1

_Just a day_

_Just an ordinary day_

_Just trying to get by_

_Just a boy_

_Just an ordinary boy_

_But he was looking to the sky_

_And as he asked if I would come along_

_I started to realise_

_That everyday he finds just what he's looking for_

_Like a shooting star_

_He shines_

_And he says_

_Take my hands_

_Live while you can_

_If we walk now_

_We will divide and conquer this land_

Vanessa Carlton – Ordinary Day

"Lloyd! How do you spell "exterminated"?"

"How should I know? You're the one who paid attention in Raine's class!"

Colette Brunel chewed thoughtfully on the end of her pen, scribbling down a word then crossing it out and rewriting it only to stare at it for several moments before rubbing it out. She eventually sighed and wrote "killed".

Glancing up, her wide azure eyes focused on the young man sword training before her. At the age of twenty-two, he was a fine specimen of a man. Intense chestnut eyes frowned beneath a heavy brow beaded in sweat. His chocolate tresses were pulled back into a short ponytail, which clung to the moisture coating the back of his strong neck. His tall lithe frame boasted impressive back muscles, tensing and relaxing as he swung the massive twin blades around as though they were cardboard. A white vest stuck possessively to his pecks and abs as they flexed. Slowly, he lowered the large swords to the ground before stretching like a cat. Colette leapt from her seat on the floor and handed him a towel. Lloyd smiled and dabbed his neck and collar bone with the blue rag.

"So what did you write?" He asked breathlessly.

Colette retrieved her notebook and pen and read aloud the thoughts she had scribbled loosely. "Dear Raine, Lloyd and I are getting on just fine, thanks for asking. We had a run in with that man Lloyd keeps referring to as a "pretentious racist butt-muncher"-"

Lloyd interrupted her by placing a hand on the pad. "Umm, can we leave that out? I don't think Raine would really…uh…appreciate that" Colette stared at him with those innocent wide eyes and shrugged.

"Okay I'll take it out….anyway…uh….oh yeah," She exclaimed as she found her place again. "We had a run in with that man-" She glanced up sheepishly at the young warrior "-that Lloyd doesn't like- and it turns out he had formed a posse who had been going around killing people and stealing their exspheres. We had a fight and Lloyd used that new move I told you about in my last letter" Colette had pulled a small section of hair around her finger and was twirling it absentmindedly. Lloyd smiled fondly, watching her. "Anyway, we beat them and the authorities in Palmacosta arrested them. It seems that people are resorting to violence to get their hands on exspheres now that the Angelus Project has collapsed and the Lezareno Company has stopped mining them. Lloyd says it will pass and everyone will appreciate the peace that will surely follow. I hope that no one else has to be killed for any one else's gain ever again"

Colette smiled as she finished off her last sentence "How was that?"

Lloyd smiled. "I think Raine would like to hear some good news, she's having trouble with the Desians"

The young woman's face melted into a pout. "I know, I'm afraid for her and Genis. I wish we could all be back together again."

"We will be, one day" he assured her as he folded the towel back up. A thought occurred to him as his belly made angry protests. "Hey Colette, how does dinner sound?"

The blonde young girl smiled "I can make fish pie?" She offered, looking to Lloyd for encouragement. It seemed to be the only dish she could make, but Lloyd simply smiled.

"Sounds good to me" He said enthusiastically, bending down to pick up his swords. As he straightened up he watched Colette bound over to the small campfire they'd been using for the past two days. Her hair had grown and now reached her knees. She tied it back in a long braid, which swished around her mid thighs. The five years since their grand adventure to save the world had stimulated many changes in her appearance; no longer the flat-chested, clumsy little girl she had been; she was now a shapely woman. She wore a blue tunic which stopped a few inches above her knees, long white boots and sheaths for holding her chakrams. She was still his little Colette, the one he vowed to protect and worked to defend. Yet sometimes he had to step back and realise that she was indeed a woman. She was a very beautiful woman.

Lloyd felt the familiar sensations manifest themselves when he was in her presence; his heart pumping, fast and steady, his skin hyper sensitive and butterflies dancing gently around his stomach. Around Colette, Lloyd had always felt happy and at peace, but over the past few years, he'd become more aware of other feelings he'd always tried to push aside.

Colette looked up at him with her innocently beautiful blue eyes and smiled. "Lloyd? Could you help me gut the fish?"

Lloyd, who had been standing, arms-folded watching her with a small appreciative smile lighting his features, disentangled himself and strode over to their little campfire. Taking the knife gently from her soft fingers, he nudged her over playfully. The open expression on her pale features made him smile warmly.

"Why don't you go make the pastry" He said turning his attention to the small fish in his large hand. "I'll deal with this little guy"

Colette smiled brightly, before rummaging though her backpack for the ingredients. Lloyd tried to concentrate on carving up the piece of food before him, but couldn't help feeling distracted. On a break from visiting "Old Sylvarant's" major towns and cities, he and Colette had been raiding some of the derelict out of commission Desian ranches. It was depressing work. Many Desians still held them as their own, knowing that outside those liberated would be quick to seek revenge. They were desperate and violent, but the horde of exspheres Lloyd and Colette found there were well worth it. Now and again they would realise they had been preceded by Raine and Genis as the fortifications had been torn down and replaced by houses and farms. What had seemed like an impossible task for the brother and sister, achieved some staggering results from their fellow half elves. This of course made their job easier.

However most of the time, it was the humans, not the Desians who caused them most trouble. The halt of production in Desian ranches, and the change in direction of the Lezareno Company's production, among other mining companies, meant that exspheres were becoming few and far between. Therefore, many unscrupulous characters horded them and created a black market in the abhorrent things. Sometimes when the true identity of an exsphere was revealed, certain people's morals kicked in and the matter could be resolved peacefully. More often than not, unfortunately, they had to play rough.

Thus, Lloyd and Colette fought and fought and fought. The noble adventure had gradually become a soul-destroying sentence. The only thing that kept Lloyd afloat was his ever present companion. His eyes were drawn to her as she added little bits of this and that to a large mixing bowl. Her gentle brow was knitted in concentration and her little pink tongue poked out ever so slightly. With one floury hand, she wiped her brow with its back. Lloyd blushed when she glanced up to catch him staring.

"Lloyd, are you alright?" She asked softly, pausing in mid-action. Lloyd smiled at the little fish.

"Yeah, I'm fine Colette" She watched him doubtfully. "How's the, uh, pastry coming along?" He asked studying the bowl in an effort to change the subject. As usual it worked perfectly.

"Oh its okay, but I can't seem to kneed the flour in properly, I might have used too much!" She grinned apologetically. Lloyd rolled his eyes in mock annoyance and, setting the fish down on a rock at his side, he wiped his hands off and sat right beside her.

Colette could feel a slight blush rise to her cheeks, as he cupped his larger hands about hers, gently coaxing her fingers to move through the mixture. She couldn't help but feel all the blood rush to her head at this close contact. She could smell him; soap and clean sweat, fresh grass and a very slight odour of fish, but most of all that little scent that was his and only his. She longed to stay near him and smell the unique concoction for the rest of her life; silly though it might sound. They had plenty of chances to be close like this, sometimes if they were camping they'd have to sleep huddled against one another for instance. However it had never become a totally ordinary or customary thing to her. Very often she got little more than a couple of hours sleep. She'd lie awake imagining his strong arms about her as they lay in the Sunday morning sunlight, listening to each other's breathing. Together in marriage, content and satisfied in a little cottage they built themselves in the outskirts of Iselia. But then he'd move slightly and the illusion would be broken. She wondered if it was wrong to think of Lloyd like that; if it was taking advantage of their friendship. He had given her reason and right to keep living. She didn't have to be a vessel; a meaningless person with an ambition that wasn't her own, or a tool to be used by others to placate their fears. He stood in the face of all that they knew to be sacred and holy and dared to defy it-for her. He had the courage to question the mysterious rite and expose it for what it was. She owed him her life and would do anything for him-anything. It was selfish of her to expect anything more.

Colette blushed brightly when she realised she had spaced out for a few moments. Lloyd had picked up his fish again and was watching her quietly as he gently scaled it. Her fingers worked of their own accord, gently teasing the dough. There fell a friendly silence between them. Colette's expression slowly became one of thoughtfulness as her mind turned to other things. She stared at the bowl in her grasp.

"Lloyd?" Her voice was small but confident. "Do you think we'll ever be able to do this?"

The young man looked up, his brown eyes full of mute surprise. Slowly, he met her gaze with one of weariness; the kind known only in battle. He sighed heavily. "Colette, I…I wish I knew"

The girl stared down at the ground thoughtfully again. As though clearing her mind, she shook the hair out of her eyes and continued kneading the dough. Lloyd went back to gutting his fish, depressed but unable to stop a small smile when he heard Colette's soft humming. Glancing up with misty eyes, he felt his heart beat that little bit faster.

Caifa was a small, poor village. It had once been a flourishing farming society, but since the mana links had been severed their whole way of life died in a matter of days. Now, not even with the Great Mana tree restored, did life ever really get back to normal. Most left the impoverished village and moved to the now restored Luin. However Caifa now had a reputation as a halfway house for thieves, murders and black-market exsphere dealers. Just perfect for Lloyd and Colette.

Lloyd drew one sword, the implied threat subtle, but noted all the same. "We're here to take those exspheres off your hands." His voice was low and controlled.

The large bulky man, the head of the ruling gang, turned his massive shoulder and gave Lloyd nothing more than a flippant glance. The young man's blood boiled beneath his skin. His chocolate mane moved silently in the light hot breeze.

"I _said_-" Lloyd lowered his blade, scraping it softly on the earthen road. "We'll take those exspheres"

Colette twitched silently in her boots, chakrams at her side. The gang standing before them stiffened, sniggering and jeering. They were known as the "Boys" and their reputation preceded them. Caifa was their HQ and the tall hulk of man turning his back on Lloyd, was named "Manfred". Rumoured to have had as many wives as men he had killed, he was a fearsome character; Lloyd and Colette had faced worse.

Lloyd slowly drew his second sword, lowering it to match its partner, he narrowed his brows. "Will you give them to us? Or will we have to take them?"

A loud guffaw escaped the group of ruffians gathered around. What could some boy and his little girlfriend do? Manfred turned his massive bulk slowly, squaring off. "I appreciate your guts son, but it's not worth it."

Ignoring the threat, Lloyd smiled wryly. It was the same story wherever they went; another buffoon who had underestimated them. "You know what the exspheres really are, don't you?"

There was a collective mumble, Manfred smiled lewdly. "Means justifies the end, kid. But that's beside the point-do you really think you're enough to handle us? You go ahead and try"

Colette, spread herself into a fighting stance. "I'm sorry you feel that way" She said firmly, but sweetly. "But we're going to have to take them anyway"

Lloyd let out a cry as he charged Manfred. The massive man spread his feet, looking as though he were digging himself in. Lloyd crossed his blades and swung them apart with the precise accuracy intended to create an "X" shaped scar across the man's chest. However before the blades could connect with his flesh, Manfred caught the tapered metal in his bear-like hands. The young swordsman cursed under his breath as he fought to free his weapons. Reaching a stalemate both leapt backwards. Lloyd's wilful mouth turned into a smug smile as he dove to one side. Before Manfred had time to react, rings of light slashed across his body, tearing at his clothes and skin.

"Angel Feathers!" Glancing up as smoke rose from his body, Manfred noticed the little girl he'd so rudely ignored reclaim her chakrams from the air. He smiled without mirth.

"Clever, clever," He straightened up and dusted himself off. "I see, so you're the little Chosen I've heard so much about. You've been quite the nuisance to some of my business associates." His merry band sniggered under their breath. Wiping some blood from the front of his shirt, Manfred rose to his full height. "We won't be underestimating you again."

With a loud cry, the gang unsheathed their weapons. Lloyd gritted his teeth. He'd hoped it wouldn't have come to this. He had hoped he could have taken out Manfred and avoided facing the whole gang. They had had worse odds than this though. In a matter of seconds, the dark-haired swordsman was overwhelmed. Doing his best just to keep up with each parry and lunge, he had little time to count the men he was fighting.

Meanwhile Colette had taken to the air. Releasing her chakrams in extravagant arches and circles, she knocked men from their feet and sent them spinning through the air. One skinny, agile little thief dodged her attacks and breached the small circle of safety she'd afforded herself. Gliding across the ground she tried to take to flight but he caught her foot. Dragging her from the air with a shriek, he threw her into the arms of his waiting comrades. She writhed, her wings flapping rapidly, trying to free herself from the tight grip of the brawny band. Unable to concentrate, Colette's hurriedly spoken chants disappeared as nothing more than words.

"Pretty ain't she?" One roared above the rabble

"Yeah, a right tasty little thing!" Another added to a round of lecherous sniggers and guffaws.

Held aloft in the hands of so many dirty ruffians, Colette's panic rose to a ringing in her ears. Filthy hands tugged at her tunic, roamed up her skirt and pulled at her fastenings. She could barely contain her sobs as she tried to fight off the intruding violating paws. She was pulled down and passed among them, felt, smelt and tasted; Lloyd's name cried out over and over.

"Oh, little flower!" One man exclaimed catching her by her wrist and pulling her to him, her eyes wide with fear and disgust. "I bet you've never been plucked have you, pretty one?" He pressed his face to her hair drawing her smell in, Colette squirming out from his grasp

The arm of her tunic was ripped from its hem and she scrabbled after it feebly, able only to make out shapes through her tears. The throng of men had whipped into frenzy and closed in around her in an ever tightening circle. She fell back painfully against a thin bony man who clutched her to him, knobbly fingers clutching at her breasts and foul breath in her ear. She shrieked in repulsion.

"So ripe," He groaned in a lusty tone. "What do you say we show you a good time?"

Her hair was pulled loose from its braid and stuck to her tear stained face. Someone in the mass of heaving limbs had her right hand, another, her left arm. One man somewhere behind her worked to pull her tights from her legs. Colette's voice was high and terrified, she pleaded and protested, screaming Lloyd's name over and over, trapped and desperate to see his face. Where was he? She needed him! Squeezed between two men she clamped her eyes shut, no longer able to watch as she was treated like a piece of meat.

A massive bearded man worked the buttons on the front of her top, chuckling lowly, watching her face contort in anger, pain and fear. "What a shame, seems your boyfriend isn't man enough for you, eh? Let me show you what a real man feels like" He said, placing his fat muscular leg between hers. Colette kicked out, trying her best to press her thighs together, forcing the grotesque intruding leg away from her. With a long howl of revulsion, Colette felt a hot rancid tongue supping at her neck and ear. Lloyd; where _was_ he!

Lloyd was overwhelmed, finding it hard just to stand his ground. The anger rising within him, he found release as he screamed "HUNTING BEAST!" In a blizzard of flying bodies, Lloyd had, predictably created a thirty foot circle around himself; his opponents scattered like bowling pins. It was then he heard it; shrill and unmistakable. Colette was calling, no _screaming_, his name! He'd almost completely forgotten about her in his effort to make himself some space. Not ten feet away a convulsing jeering mass of men crowded around something, laughing and leering. Anger boiling under his skin, Lloyd slammed both blades into the ground as he yelled "DOUBLE DEMON FANG!"

Suddenly the earth in front of the young man split as though some geological phenomenon were ripping it apart in a straight line headed for the crowd. With a roar the men were thrown clear of the fissure as steam spouted forth. Colette struggled to her feet as she felt familiar arms gather her up and hold her close. She wept with relief as she clung to his familiar, clean smelling garments; trembling in disgust. Lloyd held his ground, one blade still held defiantly as the enraged men found their feet. Manfred stepped forward and with one gesture called them back. Reluctantly, they obeyed and retreated slowly behind their leader, eyes trained sharply on the young man and the girl cradled in his arms.

"This isn't over Manfred. I'll have those exspheres."

The group of men burst out laughing, enraging Lloyd further. Manfred smirked arrogantly. "Oh be quiet boy and take care of your little girly there; looks like she needs some tender loving care." There was a general roar of mocking.

Lloyd was livid; he could feel the anger bristling inside him threatening to spill until he had cut down every last one of those pigs. However, he was reminded of the girl in his arms and knew he had only one option. Turning his back on the rabble, Lloyd felt humiliation like a noose around his neck.

Squeezing out a rag, Lloyd dabbed at the side of Colette's small mouth. Her lip was definitely split. She didn't even flinch as Lloyd checked her reaction. She simply stared off into space, a haunted look planted on her pale features. Gripping the quilt around her shoulders, she suddenly shivered uncontrollably. Lloyd felt her form convulsing in his gentle grasp and he inched away. Her eyes had filled up with moisture. Tears gathered on the edges of her lashes, but she didn't sob; just stared off into an undefined thought, as though she wasn't even there.

His husky, hushed voice brought her around slightly as he spoke her name softly. "Colette?" Her dull sad eyes met his concerned gaze and he scanned her face grimly. "Why don't you go into the tent and clean up? I'll make you something to eat"

The girl nodded slowly and gathered up the water and towel, before disappearing silently into her small tent. Lloyd watched her until she had secured the zipper on the doorway. With a sigh, he turned his attention back to the small fire in front of him. He stirred the embers, a quiet steel in his eyes. Nothing like today's events had ever happened before. How could he have left Colette in such a vulnerable position so that she was almost…?

It didn't bear thinking about. He hadn't been quick enough, strong enough or smart enough to keep her safe. He had underestimated his opponent, almost fatally and felt totally humiliated. How could he keep dragging Colette along like this? She didn't deserve this. She had been through enough in her short life and deserved to be safe and happy. Not things he could give her. The thought had been floating around in his mind for a while, but this just aggravated it further. He couldn't expect Colette to tag along like this any longer. This time she could have lost her virginity, not to mention her life, because of his stupid mistake. He wondered exactly how damaging the experience had been for her and his heart lurched at the thought of the whole tragedy.

Quiet sobbing emanated from within the canvas tent and broke Lloyd's heart. The sobs were long and aching as she tried to muffle them. His face contorted in pain at the sound. It chewed him up inside, gnawing at his very soul; the guilt was unbearable. How could he have let this happen to his sweet innocent little angel? He just wanted to go in here, fold her in his arms and soothe her. Tell her how beautiful and amazing she was and how very much he loved her. He only wanted to kiss away every bruise, caress every tint and taint and heal her inside and out. But he knew in his heart that anything he did now would only damage her further. Martel knew he was unworthy of her. He wasn't deserving even to fantasise about her the way he did, never mind expect her to reciprocate his feelings. Resolving to do the only thing he could, Lloyd laid a plate of steaming food at the entrance to the tent and cleared his throat.

"Colette…" he spoke softly "There's food…if you want it" His words sounded feeble to his own ears.

AN: Hey guys thanks for reading this first chapter. I've had ideas for writing a ToS fic for ages and it's shaping up to my expectations. However I would be very grateful if you would leave a review and let me know what you think; good, bad or otherwise. It's all greatly appreciated. I'd also like to say to anybody who has read any of the my other non-ToS fictions, that I am sorry updates and new chapters have been absent recently. I am planning on making a drive to finish my old fics, or at least get them moving again. So stay tuned for that. Thanks again


	2. Chapter 2

AN: thanks to everyone who reviewed my last chapter. Here we go…the story continues

Lloyd glanced over at her. She walked slowly, a small frown tainting her brows as she stared off at the horizon. He had awoken this morning expecting her to be silent. To be honest, he didn't know what to expect, but he was sure she wouldn't be back to normal. However, she had seemed bright and cheery if not totally herself. Lloyd had resolved that they wouldn't make a new attack on Manfred and "the Boys" right away. What Colette had been subjected to had been terrible and he didn't want to ask her to do something like that so soon. Instead he had suggested they go into town. As usual she smiled sweetly at anyone and everyone and talked enthusiastically, but when the laughter died down or the speech ran out, it came back. That shadow lying just beneath her features. He knew Colette; he understood her better than anyone and could read her feelings like he could recite the Dwarven vows. More than just the small cut on her lip and bruises on her arms, that haunted paranoia in her eyes gave away the trauma she had been through. He hated seeing her like this. Just looking at her, he felt the terrible guilt bubble forth from within him. It was all his fault, and he didn't know how to make it better.

He had hoped that this little indulgence would make Colette feel at least a little better. Colette was currently staring off at some undefined point. He felt a little awkward about breaking her silently reverie.

Clearing his throat, he said "Uh, Colette I'm gonna go stock up on gels, do you wanna come?"

The blonde masked her open emotions with a warm smile as she nodded. Together they entered the small general supplies shop. It was cool and shady; quaint but well used. Lloyd smiled kindly at the old clerk. He wiped his hands on his neat little apron and grinned beneath a heavy white moustache.

"Good afternoon young man, what can I do for you-" He nodded at Colette politely "-and your lady friend here?"

Thinking and counting off on his glove shod hands, Lloyd ordered so many lemon and orange gels. Sighing gently, Colette let her gaze wander around the dark shelves of the store, until they rested upon a large glass jar. Inside, almost reaching the lid, the little green cylindrical shapes shone like emeralds.

"Oh, and a half-pound of those!" Colette interrupted Lloyd's order. Digging into her pockets, she pushed a handful of copper coins into Lloyd's larger hand. He chuckled lightly, before clutching her retreating hand in his free one and tipping the money back in.

"My treat" He responded warmly, answering the questioning in her big blue eyes. She smiled properly for the first time that day and Lloyd felt himself come undone slightly with relief…and a hot feeling creeping silently up his neck.

"Thank you Lloyd, you know how I love my chocolate limes!" Colette watched with a childish anticipation as the elderly assistant measured out the sweets into a small brown paper bag. Handing it to her, she giggled at the weight of sugar in her grasp. With a grin she offered the contents back to the old man. With a look of mild surprise, he shook his head, smiling. Offering a sweet to Lloyd, the young man couldn't help but feel a little awkward; he really hated chocolate limes.

"Oh, yeah sorry Lloyd, you don't really like them do you? Hmmm" A look of concentration filled her face as Lloyd chuckled and paid for his purchases. "Oh, they have pear drops, or mint humbugs, which do you like Lloyd?"

Taking her arm gently, he smiled openly at her. "You dork, they're a present, I don't want any sweets. Don't worry about me…save your money"

She was really grateful for him. He made everything easier. He spoiled her rotten in every way and made the whole world seem less daunting. Glancing furtively up at him she sucked gently on the little piece of boiled candy in her mouth. He was so handsome; even as a seventeen year old boy he had been so masculine, so robust and strong. Now as a man he was sturdy and tall; yet still that kind and gentle soul he had always been. She watched quietly as the muscles in his arm rippled beneath his taught flesh as he fitted their shopping neatly inside his backpack. His face was tight in concentration and those beautiful intense brown eyes were unaware of her loving gaze upon him. Glancing up suddenly, he made Colette avert her gaze.

"Ah, there we go, all ready. What do you wanna do Colette? We could go for a picnic, go to the museum, a walk…you name it" There was a long silence. Looking up Lloyd noted Colette's absence and a cold sweat erupted across his back. "Colette?"

He didn't have far to look. Across the street, the blonde Chosen stood transfixed at a tailor's window. Inside a shop assistant arranged a blue dress on a mannequin. Colette stared at it, her eyes running over the contours and folds of the fabric. Lloyd blinked. Colette had never expressed much of an interest for clothes. Focusing his attention on the garment, he immediately understood. Even as a man, Lloyd could understand the attraction of the powder blue summer dress. It was sleeveless with only thin straps to hold it on the model. Its length was uneven, with certain parts peaking and receding, creating a staggered effect. He could see Colette birling about in the garment, her knees and shins barely showing as she ran in the grass barefooted. Oh how he wanted to see that!

Colette couldn't take her eyes off the dress. It was as though it was made for her. Its beauty was in its simplicity. She had never lusted after clothing; it just wasn't her. She only bought what was practical and decent; this dress was both and more, how could she refuse? She was about to turn and beckon Lloyd over when she found herself hemmed in. As soon as the dummy had been placed in the window, many of the women shoppers had crowded round to see the newest design. Turning frantically she was deafened by the shrill chatter, blinded by the gaudy shawls and bright hair. The throng became a maddening murder of crows, squawking and shrieking in a high pitched chatter. Panic rose in Colette's chest and she felt she couldn't breathe.

Immediately Lloyd knew there was something wrong. The sudden twitching of Colette's head in the crowd of people, alerted him. Nudging his way past some over-excited women, he reached her. She recoiled violently when he touched her shoulder. He almost flinched at her reaction, but felt his mouth dry when he saw her face. She was chalk-white; scared, really scared. That haunted, caged fear had so unnaturally returned to her wide eyes.

"Colette?" Lloyd said quietly, almost inaudibly above the irritating chatter of the crowd. His voice was weak with sorrow. He hated seeing this on her face. This horrible violation upon her beautiful features. Pulling her to him, he rescued her from the claustrophobic throb of the crowd.

"Are you okay?" He asked urgently, cupping her face and staring into her eyes. Her panic seemed to have subsided slightly and she clutched his arms tightly.

"Y-yes, I'm fine, I think" She sounded shaky, and not in the least convincing.

Thinking it best to go and sit her down somewhere quiet, Lloyd headed them for the inn. Colette was dimly aware that she no longer carried her bag of sweets. She must have dropped it somewhere.

Arriving at the inn, Lloyd had his arm around his friend protectively. The experience had shaken him too. He was beginning to realise what this had done to Colette. The filthy abuse she had suffered yesterday was not going to just disappear. She needed time, and his futile, misguided attempt to "make it all better" had failed miserably. Sitting her down gently in a corner stall in the dining room, Lloyd beckoned the inn-keeper over. The burly, but kind-faced man noted the upset that the young warrior emanated and approached warily. He peered over at the little blonde girl, huddled into herself on his bench and frowned.

"Is she okay?"

Lloyd let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. The dining room was empty bar the three. It was only around eleven and the lunchtime rush would not start for another hour. Lloyd was glad for the space.

"Yeah, she's just a little shaken. Umm could we trouble you for a glass of water?"

The inn-keeper nodded absently. He still stared worriedly at the young woman as he meandered over to the kitchen door.

Left alone, Lloyd sat down next to Colette and once again felt completely useless. What could he say? "Are you okay?", "Is everything alright?", "would you like me to get you something?" What? What could he say? Would he only make it worse? He couldn't solve this problem by throwing sweets and activities at it…so what could he do?

"Colette." He said at length "We can stay here if you want, it'll be quiet for a while yet"

The blonde Chosen gripped her arms tightly, her breathing returning to its normal rate. She felt safer, more relaxed now. She heard Lloyd's voice, far off; quiet. He appeared in her line of vision and her eyes focused on him. The concern and hurt in his rich brown eyes stirred such emotion in her. The relief at his familiarity; the guilt at his fear and the nervousness at his beauty before her was too much. The tears were streaming down her face before she could even sob. With a practiced ease, she found herself in his warm comforting hug. Lloyd stroked her hair gently, whispering soft, safe words to her.

The inn-keeper appeared with a glass of water, which Lloyd gratefully took from him. The older man twitched slightly, feeling awkward.

"If you want, I have a spare room today. She looks pretty shaken. Please go upstairs and rest"

Lloyd gave the man a cautious glance. "How much do you want?"

The bearded man smiled sadly. "I'm not like that, just take her upstairs and make sure she's okay, forget money"

"Thank you" The chestnut-haired man sad sincerely before being directed upstairs.

When the two reached the door, Lloyd found the small bare room very cosy. Twin beds sat at opposites ends of the room, each with its own nightstand. Beneath the window was a chest of drawer with a small water jug and bowl atop, decorated with a worn doily. In the window itself, hung a simple lace curtain. The early morning sunshine gave the wooden room a very homely relaxed feel. Helping Colette sit on the bed nearest the window, he kept his arms around her. Stroking her hair, he whispered reassurances in her ear. He felt her breathing slow and return to its normal rhythm. Despite the odd hiccup he soon realised she had fallen asleep.

It was hard to describe the most beautiful thing about her face. He couldn't decide if it was the dark crescents her eyelashes formed against her milky skin, her pink lips, so small and perfect shaped, or the silver trails her tears had left on her smooth skin. More than usual, he wanted to kiss her. The urge was so strong, so natural, so right…but wrong. Closing his eyes gently, Lloyd frowned. Why was it so complicated? Why couldn't everything just be the way it had been before? Lifting her small frame lightly in his arms, he laid her on the bed and pulled the comforter over her chest. Again she was close enough to kiss, but so terribly untouchable. Pulling himself away, Lloyd sat down slowly on the bed at the opposite end of the room. With a slight sigh, Colette turned over and pulled the sheet in around her chin.

He knew she hadn't slept much last night and really needed the rest. Is that all it would take: a good night's sleep? He doubted it. She needed time to forget, to let the wounds heal and the hurt numb. Standing up, Lloyd decided he would take the room for the night. They had planned to camp out tonight, but maybe she needed the comfort of the indoors.

Lloyd made his way to the front desk and found the older man doing a crossword puzzle. He looked up from the puzzle in the news paper and smiled. "Ah, how is your young friend?"

The handsome swordsman ran a hand through his long hair. "Oh, she's sleeping. We…" Lloyd sighed loudly and decided he owed the man an explanation. "Colette and I are trying to round up all the exspheres we can, we trying to destroy them all"

The inn-keeper's eyes widened. "Then…then she's the Chosen everyone's talking about? Then that makes you the..." If it were possible, the man's eyes seemed to widen further. "That makes you the red swordsman! Oh sir, you honour me!"

Lloyd sighed gently; this was how it always was. Either people spat and shouted at them because they used to work in the exsphere mining business, or they praised and celebrated them because they had lost a friend or relative to exsphere experimentation.

"Yeah, that's us. We had a run in with Manfred and his boys yesterday. Colette…" he could feel his blood racing at the thought of yesterday's events. "They attacked Colette, and she needs some time to get over it"

"Oh Mr Irving, You're pretty brave to take on Manfred." He whistled through his teeth at the thought of it.

"Well, we're not going to let him get away with it. I'm just worried about her." Lloyd smiled at the man. "Thank you for your help. Could we take the room for the night?"

"Oh of course sir!" The man seemed eager to dig out his registry book. Facing it toward Lloyd he passed him a pen.

Glancing up as he scrawled his name Lloyd noticed the man's name badge. "Uh…Fredric…how much do we owe you?"

Fredric smiled bashfully and shook his head. "I told you to forget it. I'm not going to take money from a man like you. We villagers owe _you_"

Lloyd smiled widely. "Thanks so much, would you mind calling us for dinner. Colette's sleeping and I think I'd like to take a nap too."

"Certainly sir, is six o'clock alright? We start serving dinner at five, but the rush is usually over by six"

A few minutes later, Lloyd flopped down on the soft, cushy covers and let his muscles melt into the cloth. He was more tired than he had realised. Before long he felt his eyelids heavy and could no longer force them open.

It seemed as though he had only been asleep for few minutes when he jerked awake. Looking around in confusion, Lloyd slowly took in his surroundings. It was dark, which must mean it was night, or at least early evening. Hazily he remembered where he was. Sitting up, he rubbed his eye with the heel of his hand and yawned. Glancing over at Colette's bed, he felt a cold sweat running over his skin when he realised she wasn't there. Tearing the bed clothes back, he jumped up from the mattress much to the protest of his tired muscles. Running out of the room, he forgot he wasn't wearing any shoes, but decided it didn't matter. Lloyd had begun to panic. He hadn't told Colette that they had the room for the night. What if she'd gotten up and left? No, no Colette wouldn't go without him. What if she'd gotten up and didn't remember where she was? She'd panic…but surely she'd have woken him up. What if one of Manfred's men broke in and kidnapped her?

The endless guessing was doing no good he decided. He just had to find her as soon as possible. Lloyd could faintly hear noises coming from the only other room on this floor. Rounding the corner he found the door slightly ajar. Pushing it open a sliver, Lloyd's mouth dropped open, his eyes nearly popped from his head and his breath hitched high in his throat.

He had stumbled across a bathroom. Inside Colette stood with her side to him, her whole form bare. She rested one foot on a stool and was using a towel to dry off her legs. She hummed melodically to herself, her hair pulled over one shoulder, exposing her pearly skin to the steam tumbling from the bathtub. Lloyd's senses returned to him and he flattened himself against the wall. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't remember how.

Somehow he made it back to his room. Falling back onto the bed, he stared blindly at the ceiling. Before his eyes images of Colette's beautiful figure danced just out of reach. The curves and planes of her body were so perfectly burned into his memory. Her arm stretched out in front of her, hid the swell of her breast but exposed enough to tantalise and tempt him. Her beautiful cheeks were flushed from the hot water, and her blue eyes burned brightly as she concentrated. Her thighs were just so perfectly shaped, peachy and firm and he longed to feel them in his hands. Shutting his eyes tightly, he did his best to banish the images from his head. He felt so incredibly guilty at the thought of what he had done. He had unlocked his mind to fantasies he had never known could exist. If he had wanted Colette before, now he craved her. Pushing his fists against his eyes, he felt his skin alive with desire. This wasn't right and he knew it. How could he pretend they were only friends now? How could he be content to carry on as before? For her own good he knew he had no choice. It would kill him inside being so close to her and knowing fully what lay just outwith his reach. He couldn't face that torment; that bittersweet torment…but he had no choice.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: His guy sorry for such a massive wait for this chapter. I'll do my best to get chapters up a little more regularly. Anyway I hope you enjoy this one. Thanks for all your feedback.

Meals were never awkward. Never. Hours before, the mere suggestion would have made Lloyd Irving chuckle in amusement. Now, however the story had changed. Lloyd sat staring at the food before him, unable to raise his wide saucer eyes. The young woman sat opposite him, had picked up on his peculiar mood, but was thoroughly confused. Colette poked and prodded her food with her fork, unable to eat with the tension hanging so thick and heavy around them. For the millionth time that night, she let her eyes wander to his pale drawn face.

"Umm, Lloyd?" At the mention of his name, Lloyd's head jerked up. He stared at her as though he had been caught killing a kitten!

Colette stared back surprised at his reaction. "Umm, aren't you hungry?"

The young man glanced down at the food as his mouth opened and closed like a fish for a moment or two. Finally he found the words, as his eyes managed to focus on the pancakes before him. "No, no, I am!" He spluttered, trying to convince himself as much as Colette.

The Chosen's expression seemed to falter slightly, and she returned her gaze to the dish in front of her. Normally if something was bothering Lloyd, he could confide in her. What had changed to make him behave like this? Colette sighed and placed her knife and fork on the empty plate.

Lloyd still hadn't touched his food, but just stared through it at some invisible thing under the table. He could feel Colette's eyes on him and he couldn't bear it. Every time he looked at her all he could focus on was the soft pale flesh just below her collarbone where her tunic fastened. If only she could see inside his mind, that innocent, clueless expression of hers would be twisted into a contortion of betrayal and disgust. How could he be thinking these things about Colette? Until a few hours ago he had never even considered such possibilities, but a whole world of fantasies had been uncovered to him. Looking at her inflamed and excited these dreams; torturing him. Daring his sanity, Lloyd cast his eyes up at the woman who encircled almost everything he did, and felt himself twist inside at the sight of her; how could he?

Colette looked at herself in the mirror and inspected a purple bruise which had appeared on her cheekbone. It felt like an eggplant as she fingered it and flinched. Her left eye filled up with moisture as she winced. She knew it would have to get bigger and darker before it faded but every time she caught her reflection she wished it would just disappear. Colette could never be called vain, but the sight of it brought the events of two days ago, back to the forefront of her mind and she would feel like she wanted to claw her skin off. No matter how hard she scrubbed her skin when she washed, she couldn't get herself clean. The sensation of sweaty, dirty, calloused hands running all over her skin was burned into her memory and shook her body with revulsion when remembered. It was too hard to deal with it, so she pushed it back down; pushed it down till she gagged. Lloyd had helped her, giving her his warm, sad smiles. However it just wasn't enough.

With a blush, Colette allowed herself a daydream of that passionate, fiery look he got on his face whenever he was worked up. She wanted him to look at her like that and pull her into his arms and whisper that he would make it all go away. She wanted him to push the hair from her face gently, wipe the tears away with his rough warm fingers and look so deeply into her eyes, she might drown in the glinting chocolate pools. He'd hold her so tenderly, his lips parted; so smooth and velvety and make her feel like Colette, a beautiful woman; capable of being a lover, a wife and a mother. She was so tired of being Colette: the little Chosen who saved Tethe'alla and Sylvarant. Not that that was a title to be ashamed of, but it was one which she believed kept Lloyd away from her.

It had occurred to her that he just wasn't interested in her, but if he wasn't interested in her, it was quite clear that he wasn't interested in personal relationships at all. He hadn't been pining for Sheena, Raine, Presea, or any of the others they had met along the way. If anything, he had seemed fresh, alive and full of energy for a long time; happy to be free to make a difference in the world. But now she shared his fatigue and disillusionment at the world which had been so fickle to them. At the back of her mind, Colette's paranoia ran rampant with the idea that he had begun to tire of her too.

A knock at the door interrupted her daydream. Lloyd opened the door just a crack and shot her a preoccupied smile, which didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Hey Colette…it's time to head off. Are you all packed?"

As the bright sunshine glinted through the trees in the small beer garden, Lloyd shook hands with the kindly inn-keeper, Fredric. The older man patted him on the back.

"Don't mention it Mr Irving. As I said, the people of this town owe it to you for driving out so many of the exsphere hustlers who used to be a menace round here. If you're ever in the area and need a bed for the night, you're always welcome: Free of charge!"

Lloyd chuckled and smiled warmly at the bearded man. "Thanks so much for everything. We'll meet again soon I'm sure. Goodbye" With a wave he made his way down the garden path and emerged onto the street to join Colette.

Her gaze had returned to the shop-window she had freaked out at yesterday. The pale blue dress still sat neatly on its mannequin, staring out at the world. Lloyd looked between Colette and the display, and noted not panic, fear nor trauma in her stare, but longing. He felt his jangled nerves relax gently.

Colette gasped as she felt someone take her hand. Glancing up she couldn't help the blood rushing to her cheeks. Lloyd's smile was so soft and warm she felt she could melt.

"Come on then silly. Let's go get you that dress" The dark haired young man said, comically rolling his eyes.

Colette quickly fell into step with him, her heart thundering in her ribcage. Whenever he did something for her, it felt like her whole body was slowly rising faster than her head! He'd probably laugh at her and call her a dork if he could hear her thoughts right now. Glancing up at him, she blushed privately as she admired the strong contour of his jaw and the dark close-shaven stubble clinging to his skin. When her gaze returned to their entwined hands, she suddenly felt a wave of bittersweet sadness. How long would this last? How long would Lloyd be content to carry on like this? How long would it take for him to tire of her completely?

Entering the small shop, Colette's eyes wandered around the lace-lined walls. Rows upon rows of dresses hung from every available surface. Lloyd looked almost blinded by the silks, taffetas, velvets and satins. A small round woman approached them, swiping back an unruly length of hair which constantly fell in her face.

"Good morning!" She beamed, her cheeks stained red by the sweltering heat of the small packed store. "What can I do for you two lovely young lovebirds?"

Lloyd cleared his throat awkwardly and Colette's smile faltered as a crimson blush erupted across her features. The older woman pretended not to notice.

"Umm, my friend Colette here is interested in the dress in your window? Could you…you know…fit it for her?"

The woman smiled nodding as she listened before she gave a grunt of approval. Taking Colette by the wrists, her nimble little fingers were soft and cool.

"Let me take a look at you…" The woman seemed struck by the girl's attire. With a dramatic sigh she cocked her round little face to the side. "Well, such a perfect little beauty like you, all bundled up in such a…a…" She seemed stuck for words for a moment "- an _unflattering_ garment!" She directed her attention to Lloyd, who still seemed quite out of his depth. "She doesn't need _A_ new dress, she needs a whole wardrobe!"

Lloyd gaped and glanced at the mute Colette who allowed herself to be manhandled by the older woman. "I..uh…I don't think we've got enough money for a whole wardrobe" A cold sweat was rabidly breaking out across his brow at the thought of a backpack bulging with girly things!

A measuring tape had appeared from nowhere and Lloyd watched on in silent amazement as the women stretched Colette out at all sorts of angles, and jotted things down on the back of her hands. At each measurement, she made a small grunt of approval. Bustling away through the back of the shop she emerged with two young women, they smiled kindly at Colette and one blushed at Lloyd. Colette didn't miss the obvious attraction the young brunette in her lilac silk, felt towards the tall swordsman. She watched the young woman warily, as she retrieved the dress from the window. Lloyd hung back, wondering if the assistant needed help with the clumsy mannequin, but one glance at Colette's expression and his breath caught in his chest. Her focus was on the pretty young brunette who had appeared from the backshop, but the look in her eyes was completely new to Colette. He could only guess it was distrust.

The women helped Colette from the stool and led her to a corner of the store which had a rail attached to the ceiling, holding up a heavy curtain; obviously a makeshift changing room. Lloyd kept his gaze on his boots. There was no chance he would see Colette through the curtain and it was the middle of a shop too, but the idea of her undressing brought back images which begged to be studied, but had to be rejected. The red-headed assistant stood beside Lloyd.

"I wish my husband would buy me lovely dresses like that" She said, the cynical edge to her voice of all long-suffering housewives bringing him around from his daydream.

"Oh-" Lloyd blushed brightly "I'm not Colette's husband!"

The woman smiled at him "Well don't tell Molly there that you're single, she's a man-eater" She finished with a laugh.

Lloyd could feel the heat rushing to his cheeks at the sound of the two young women giggling behind the curtain as they no doubt shared a girly jest. After what had seemed a lifetime, Colette emerged in the beautiful little summer dress. Lloyd's breathing hitched slightly. She was stunning; absolutely so. Colette felt her heart slamming against her ribcage as he seemed lost for words. She could only clasp her hands bashfully and stare down at the dress sitting attractively on her.

"Well, well!" The shopkeeper said breathlessly, "Look at you!"

Taking Colette gently by the wrists she led her in front of a full length mirror by the cash register, "Don't you look a vision? Why, it almost looks as though the dress were made just for you! You could wear it to the summer festival in the next town if you're going that way. It's always wonderful fun and the perfect outing for the premier of the dress!"

Colette glanced at the dumbfounded Lloyd who nodded mutely.

The old woman fussed and laughed, arranging the long peaks of the dress so they sat just so around Colette's knees. "With a few tiny adjustments it will fit you perfectly!"

With the help of the other two women, the seamstress gathered certain parts of the material and pinned it here and there. Colette risked glancing up into her reflection and noted Lloyd standing at the other side of the store, a small smile touching his lips. His eyes however told a deeper story. With surprise Colette found herself watching a stare of intense longing which was unaware of her attention.

Lloyd couldn't take his eyes from her. She was just perfect, with or without the dress she was beautiful, but there, surrounded by ordinary women, she was like a diamond in the rough.

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When the dress had been taken in and fitted, the shopkeeper helped Colette pick out another more feminine tunic and a plain pink dress at Colette's request. Packing them together with a few full sets of underwear, the older lady finally let them leave. Lloyd sighed, feeling the weight of his almost empty money sack. Oh well, if it pleased Colette then how could he argue?

Colette blushed to herself. She couldn't wait to wear her new underwear and dress at tomorrow night's festival. She couldn't wait to see that look come across Lloyd's face again. Something down deep within her shivered at the thought. The hungry look of longing he had worn earlier excited her in a way she'd never felt before. It was strange this giddiness; like the heat of battle. A frightening surge of adrenaline seemed to course constantly through her veins. With one look at his face she felt that perhaps he might be able to reciprocate the barely chaste fantasies she'd harboured about him for so long. Perhaps…

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Lloyd sighed shakily. The tent had finally been pitched and he stood staring at it. What else could he distract himself with? Anything to keep him from settling down for the night! Settling down meant he'd lie side by side with Colette and have to try and sleep. In the past it had been something he looked forward to. He'd get to be close to her without it feeling awkward. He could pretend she was his wife slumbering quietly beside him; sometimes he might even be able to hold her hand or put and arm around her and drift off into beautiful dreams. But now his dreams were no longer simply as pure or innocent. Knowing what lay beneath the voluminous nightdress she wore, he couldn't keep his mind at peace. How disgusted she would be if she could read his mind. He was helpless with guilt. It had been bittersweet before but now it was torture and he already knew that sleep would evade him tonight.

The young Chosen unpacked the lovely lacy things Lloyd had purchased for her today and held them up for inspection. Colette had never had many material possessions. As a Chosen she had neither been interested nor spoilt by earthly goods. She wore what was practical and only carried what she needed. However, she smiled to herself, maybe now she'd be allowed to be spoiled…just a little bit. Folding things back up, she secreted the underwear out of the bag. Trying not to draw Lloyd's attention, Colette fingered the soft silk and was fascinated by the delicate lace. The brassiere was a soft powder blue, with small bows. Padding in the cups helped to accentuate what little the Chosen believed she had. The panties made Colette blush a deep hue. They were matching; soft blue with bows, but there was very little to them. They were the most adventurous things she owned and she felt a return to her earlier feeling of giddiness. She finally felt like she was becoming an adult; something she had unquestioningly accepted she might never get the chance to be. Thanks to Lloyd she was allowed to experience this; experience what being a woman felt like. She hoped deep down inside that he'd also help her experience what being a wife was like.

Sticking the garments back in the bag, Colette took what she needed for sleeping and made her way to a nearby tree to change. She stretched with a yawn and scratched her head. Lloyd watched silently as she went through her ordinary routine. This time, however it was different for him. This time his mind travelled with her. As hard as he tried, his over-active imagination envisaged her unbuttoning her tunic, pulling the neckline down over shoulders, allowing the top to fall to the…Lloyd threw down the spare tent pegs he was holding and marched off in the opposite direction.

Clenching and unclenching his fist, it was all Lloyd could do to keep himself from screaming in frustration. He was so angry with himself. He had to stop this and stop it soon before it got the better of him and drove him insane. Finding a small clearing next to the fast flowing river, Lloyd hammered his fist straight into the trunk of tree. With a shout of pent up frustration he pummelled a second fist into the same trunk. It didn't make the images go away but it did help make him feel better. Taking his jacket off with a few impatient movements, Lloyd started punching the tree over and over, letting out feral grunts and snarls. The pain was unpleasant, but it was worth it, to cleanse him of this feeling. He felt that he had betrayed Colette in the worst way when she needed him most. He had become a lecherous, disgusting pervert and felt sickened by it. He couldn't deny however the feeling behind such lustful desires. He'd loved her since he met her, since he understood what it was to love someone. The pain of losing her had been too great to stand before but now the thought that _he_ would drive her away…didn't bear thinking about.

Drained of his energy, Lloyd let his heavy arms fall to his side. His knuckles felt numb but his forearms ached. He was too tired to feel frustrated anymore. He just felt sweaty and smelly now. Removing his sweat stained vest, Lloyd groaned at the tension in his shoulders and back. Lloyd pulled his heavy body to the riverside and began to undress.

Colette gathered up her hairbrush, her dirty clothes and her washcloth and skipped back to the campsite. Lloyd was nowhere to be seen. Putting her things in a neat pile by the tent hatch, Colette glanced around trying to figure where he'd gone. He'd normally wait till she came back, or mention before she went that he was going for water or firewood or food. It made her a little nervous. She hadn't been on her own since Manfred an….Putting her arms around herself, Colette tried to stay calm…but she was beginning to feel a little vulnerable. The trees around her melted into the dark sky and she could hear the faint call of wolves in the distance. It might be better if she went to find him rather than wait here. But maybe he'd come back and worry about her. Colette was torn, but she finally decided to look for him.

Picking her way through the long grass growing beneath the trees which circled their campsite, Colette fumbled and tripped until she heard his voice ahead of her. He was grunting and growling like an animal, but his voice was unmistakable. Peering through the trees, the young Chosen watched in mute shock as he pounded fist after fist into a defenceless tree. He sounded really, really angry and Colette suddenly wracked her brain to think of anything she might have done to upset him. His punches slowed until he stood, tired and sore looking. Just as Colette was about to emerge and call out his name, she was stopped as he took his vest off. Frozen to the spot she gaped at his naked chest. She had seen it many times before, but there was something about the way the thin sheen of perspiration covered his broad shoulders and shimmered in the moonlight as his muscles flexed that rooted her to the spot. Moaning quietly, Lloyd dragged himself over to the river. Rubbing his neck he flung his discarded shirt over a tree branch. Colette silently crept closer, watching dumb as he unbuttoned the front of his trousers and pulled them down and stepped out of the legs. Again, she had seen him in swimming trunks before, but not since they were teenagers, his legs were thicker, more muscular and…the legs of a man. She couldn't help herself as she fumbled closer, the sound of the raging river drowning out the cacophony she made through the foliage. As Lloyd stretched the waistband of his boxer shorts, Colette felt panic rising in her head and threw her hands over her face. Staring out between her fingers, she couldn't take her eyes away.

A strangled cry escaped her lips, and with the reflexes of a cat, Lloyd spun with wide eyes. The Chosen and her bodyguard stood staring mutely at one another, shock written over both faces. Lloyd's mouth hung open as he reached down for his trousers feebly. Finally finding them, he pulled the waistband up and fumbled to fasten them. Colette snapped to her senses. Her eyes burning with so many different emotions, she felt like her head was going to pop off her neck it was so filled with blood.

"Lloyd I'm sorry! I didn't mean to spy on you! I'm really sorry!" Her voice was high and panicked. She bowed quickly and scurried off back to the campsite, leaving the dumbstruck swordsman wondering what in the hell had just happened to him.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Thank you everyone for all your wonderful reviews so far. I'm really honoured that you took the time to write everything you wrote. Thanks so much to certain individuals who really gave it their all to make suggestions and to encourage my work. I would like to take this opportunity to make a few small points. Although this fic is rated M, it will not include scenes of explicit sex, but it will deal with more mature sexual themes. I'm sorry if that disappoints some of you, but I hope you would still enjoy the story despite that. Also, although I do appreciate your suggestions and criticisms, I do have this story planned out and I will continue to portray my story and characters as planned. Again I hope you will still enjoy the story even if parts of it disappoint or even dismay you. Not everyone enjoys the same things from fanfiction. I don't intend this to put an end to any comments you feel you'd like to make; I'm really flattered and interested to read genuine feedback. I also appreciate honesty from other fans. I know I'm not a wonderful writer and I make plenty of mistakes and possibly misrepresent certain aspects of the story, but again this is just my interpretation. Thanks again, I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the previous three. Oh and sorry Alias Enigma, but this chapter is the fluffy chapter. You will understand why it has to be so unbearably fluffy when you read the chapter which will succeed this one. Thank you for your continued support.

If I might take a very short moment to explain the direction the story has been taking. The point of the first chapter and Colette's misadventure was to create a catalyst for Lloyd to question what he has gotten Colette into…by the next chapter you will see where this leads. My intention was not to show Colette up as inept at fighting or entirely dependant on Lloyd…but it was more as a device to build up certain aspects of Lloyd's nature and the internal problem he starts to face. I hope things will become clearer as the chapter after this one will take a dramatic turn and all will be revealed. May I now put some worries to rest. Alias Enigma was worried that the fanfic was going to turn out to be a generic get-together fic…again by the next chapter you will understand where the past two chapters have been heading. I hope you will also notice the jarring effect this chapter and the next chapter will have when compared. I hope I've at least been able to make it worthwhile waiting. Enjoy.

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Lloyd stared at his hands for a few seconds before snapping to his senses. His mouth was dry and his heart pumped like a jack-hammer in his ribcage. Following his companion's noisy but speedy retreat, he emerged onto the clearing. He squeezed the vest he held in his right hand. Colette stood stalk still between the tent and the campfire. After such a flurry of movement, the moment was caught as a tableaux. Colette had her back to him and he couldn't read her face. The amber light from the dim fire painted her hair gold and her nightdress a warm orange. Forcing himself to swallow, Lloyd felt his throat stick together. She was so unapproachable; like a dangerous wild thing stood there, unreadable and unpredictable.

It was as though Colette had realised she had nowhere to go to escape from facing the awfulness of what she had done. She couldn't turn and look at him, she couldn't fasten herself away in the tent; she couldn't pretend that she hadn't seen what she had seen. Hot tears leaked out from between her lashes as she felt his eyes on her back. They were tears of shame; of embarrassment and guilt. She didn't want Lloyd to be angry at her, but neither did she want him to ruffle her hair and call her a dork for being so silly. She wouldn't be a real woman to him if he did. If he shook his head and laughed, she'd know he saw nothing but his dependable, frightened little friend who crumbled with her naivety.

"Colette…" His voice as so soft and concerned as it floated just above the fire.

Slowly she turned and he could see the wet tracks down her face: the glossy tears which filled her eyes with sorrow. It broke his heart into pieces. She looked so scared and violated as her hands wrung the collar of her nightdress. His whole being ached with anger, frustration and despair.

"..Colette…I'm sorry…I…I…"

"No Lloyd-" She interrupted, struggling in vain to banish the hot succession of tears with her sleeve. "-I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been watching you…I just didn't want to say anything because…well…"

She squirmed as she wrestled to find the right words to say, her face so flushed with blood.

Lloyd's heart was in his mouth. He felt his whole being ripped apart with a myriad of conflicting emotions.

"…I saw you hitting the tree" Her next words were a jumble; her utter fear of him and his reaction battling with her longing to just disappear. "-and-I-thought-that-you-were-angry-at-me-so-I-didn't-say-anything-please-forgive-me-I'm-really-sorry!"

The young swordsman fought for composition. "No, No Colette" He stammered, clenching his fists so tight he thought he might cut the skin with his fingernails.

She watched him with wide moist eyes. She had to understand what was happening. She wanted to finally know where she stood: what he thought of her.

"I…I'm just angry with this whole mission. I'm so sick and tired. I guess it got on top of me" He lied too convincingly and felt guilt biting at him.

Colette nervously chewed her lip. An awkward silence fell on them and they couldn't meet one another's gaze. Lloyd rubbed the back his neck, feeling the sweat collecting there. His eyes were immediately drawn to the short blonde as her lips moved soundlessly. She was struggling to find the words she wanted to say. He tried to be patient, but not knowing what she was thinking was unbearable.

"I-I didn't see…anything…" She said carefully, before glancing at the handsomely flushed young man to see if he understood.

"Uhh…okay" Lloyd said, striving to hide his disappointment. It seemed that seeing him as she had had driven them further apart and it made his heart lurch to think that she might be disgusted. If Lloyd Irving hadn't been convinced before, now he was certain that what he was about to do was the right thing; for both of them.

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The night was agony and Colette got little more than two hours sleep. She had turned her back to Lloyd until she heard his breathing even out and knew he was asleep. Watching his face as he slumbered she felt her cheeks ablaze again. Colette had always loved her friend. She had followed him without question and relied on him to be her crutch all her life. He was the very reason she was still alive. That spit and fire that had driven him to challenge everything he had been conditioned to believe, terrified and confused her. Why did he waste his time running around after her? Protecting and supporting her? She wanted to be there for him as he had been for her. But she kept doing stupid, clumsy things. She continued to be stupid, clumsy Colette; a liability who needed to be treated as a child. Wiping away a stray tear, Colette rested her head back on the pillow and tried to ignore the sinking feeling that filled her heart.

Fingering a bruise distractedly, the young woman shifted on her side and felt tense aching pain shoot up through the inside of her thigh. A cold shiver ran through her and her stomach lurched. Whenever she least expected it, her body would remind her of what had happened to her. The ghosts of three days past clutched her legs, pushing her thighs apart, a massive sinewy thigh forced against her muscles and she drew herself in tighter to banish it. A hot tear collected upon her lashes. She had thought she'd had no more to cry, but they always found her. Colette's heart sat somewhere down in the very bottom of her stomach. Oh to be anywhere else; to be in the sweet ignorance of non-existence; she'd do anything for it right now.

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The next day was the most excruciatingly awkward day the two had ever experienced. After packing up camp in record time they exchanged few words as they travelled down the road to the next town. Their pace was brisk with nervousness. Lloyd glanced furtively at his companion as he did so often. Her eyes were focused on the horizon; an uncharacteristic frown saddening them. Knowing that he was the cause of her upset made his legs weak with despair. Several times he concocted conversation starters in his mind, thinking that pretending nothing had happened would be best. One look at her however and his weak words died on his lips.

Colette for her part was lost in paranoid thoughts of nothing and everything. She replayed the events of the previous night on a continual loop through her head, her thoughts forever returning to the beautiful sight Lloyd had made; almost naked against the moonlit stream. She felt so wrong for thinking as she did, but she was safe in her head and knew he would never tell the subject of her thoughts from looking at her. It wasn't that she hadn't ever fantasised about him before, or the bare flesh the contours and shapes below his clothes hinted at; she wasn't at ease however with the impression he gave that he had been unaffected by what had happened. She didn't know how to read that in him. She didn't know what he thought of her. She didn't know how to fix this cavernous divide that left them standing on the terra of different worlds. It occurred to her that, just as with Tethe'alla and Slyvarant, it might take a miracle to unite them again.

As the town limits came into view, both young people were distracted from their thoughts by the flurry of activity at the gate. Lloyd's words passed over his lips before he was even aware.

"What's going on?"

Colette squinted too, noticing the exaggerated movements of the few people who were causing such commotion.

After a few minutes they could hear the slurs being shouted between the small band of townsfolk. One burly man, not unlike Fredric from the previous village, stood squarely in the gate, his arms aggressively folded across his chest. A few women were dotted around wearing identical expressions, scowling at a very well dressed man. He wore a powdered wig and a long coat of purple taffeta. He was sharp-eyed and looked not in the least an idiot.Lloyd glanced between the two groups, doing his best to suss out the situation before he and Colette became part of it.

"You idiot excuse for a Mayor! What did you think that'd do eh? Apart from rile up the towns folks!" A short fat woman cried, gesticulating quickly and violently.

The bulky man placed a hand on the woman's shoulder, almost in a restraining way; suggesting to Lloyd that she was his wife. "You really are a complete idiot aren't you Garalas? Who the hell do you think you are? You're elected into power in this town, remember pal! You can't go around making decisions like that!"

Lloyd's mouth was drawn into a pensive line as he and Colette approached. One of the women turned, with the same grim frown on her face sized up the two newcomers. Without a word she stepped aside to let them pass. The large man still had his attention on the finely dressed Mayor, but addressed the young adventurers despite.

"Sorry, you young'ins, please go ahead into town"

Colette gave a half smile, knowing he couldn't see her, but thanked him just the same. Once beyond the gates, Lloyd glanced back.

"I wonder what that was all about" he asked Colette. She shrugged her shoulders, still feeling too uncomfortable to answer him properly. Lloyd studied her profile briefly. Nope; this wasn't just going to magic itself away.

Together, but miles apart they walked on between bakers and butchers, banks and blacksmiths. The town was larger than they had thought. Everyone they passed wore a similar expression to the "welcoming committee".

"Do you think they're _all_ sore at that Mayor guy?" Colette asked Lloyd quietly, watching the people walk by distractedly.

Lloyd sighed and scratched at his neck. "I really don't know Colette, but I'm sure he's got _something_ to do with it." He took the opportunity to catch her gaze. Her wide blue eyes danced nervously over his face before allowing themselves to be caught in his stare. Through a small smile he tried his best to banish this remaining tension, but the heat he saw beginning to rise in her soft round little cheeks betrayed the depth of the problem. His heart sank in despair. "Uh we should find the inn"

Colette kept her head low. She knew that her unwitting expression had upset Lloyd. She knew he wanted to carry on as though nothing had happened. She also knew however that she couldn't just pretend.

In silence they found the inn and greeted the young woman sitting at the desk. Lloyd felt torn when he was handed two keys. Doing his best not to show his divided feelings, Lloyd moved to give Colette her key. When his eyes rested upon her small palm he felt his heart heavy again. She was so small and utterly beautiful; what was he doing? Lloyd shook his head gently, halting that train of thought before it could leave the station. Colette's wide eyes noted the gesture and it confused her.

"C-Colette" Lloyd mumbled "Why don't you go up to your room and have a rest. I'll find out what's going on in this town before we go to the festival." He covered his nervousness with a small smile. She returned it. Gathering their things they walked up the humble wooden staircase to a small landing. Two doors sat in the walls opposite each other. One read "Meltokio suite" and the other "Palmacosta suite". Colette put her key into the Palmacosta door and pushed it open. The room was airy and light; certainly more opulent than she was used to, but not luxurious. Colette couldn't help but smile genuinely at the large fluffy looking bed by the window.

"Wow…"Lloyd said behind her, his voice playful. "Nice huh?"

"Yeah" She said softly. Plopping her rucksack down beside the door Colette wandered inside. In the corner of the room was a doorway with a heavy curtain. Lloyd followed her inside as she slid the covering back to reveal a small commode with a shower and sink.

"_Very_ nice" Lloyd assured himself. Running a hand through his chestnut mane, Lloyd straightened up. "Well, why don't you clean up and relax before the festival." The thought of Colette "relaxing" flashed into his mind and made his skin tremble suddenly. "Uh…I'll go and find out what's going on, and how come we got a room so easily." With another uncharacteristically nervous smile, he strode awkwardly out of the room.

Colette released a breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding. With Lloyd gone, the room was suddenly more detailed. She noticed more of it and smiled to herself at how cosy it looked. This was the first real time she'd had to herself since…It was better not to think about that. Rummaging through her bag she made her mind wander to other things. Predictably it wandered to the night before and Lloyd.

Picking out a towel and a bottle of shampoo, Colette made her way to the small "en suite". She couldn't shake the thought of his fists colliding again and again against the thick trunk of the oak. The small grunts of pain he made still rang in her ears. It bothered her to think that Lloyd, who was normally level headed despite his outbursts, would rather take out his frustrations physically than speak to her about them. She knew he was tired and fed up and disillusioned and bruised. She had always been there for him though, to help carry the burden.

Turning on the crude shower device, Colette dampened her hair and began to lather up the shampoo. Whatever had been eating away at him last night was not something she could help carry. She knew this much at least. When her paranoia subsided she realised with a heavy heart that whatever had been tearing up his soul last night, it was something either she wouldn't understand…or had to be protected from. Whatever Lloyd thought of her, she knew he cared.

Washing the suds from her long blonde hair Colette chewed thoughtfully on her lower lip. He had been so preoccupied lately she felt she had missed out on something. Normally it was the punch-line of jokes she seemed to trip up on, but this was something more important; almost as though she had been asleep when something _really_ significant happened. Things hadn't been the same since their run in with Manfred and his men. Colette fought against the compulsion to glance down at the various bruises on her body and let the memories coupled with ghostly sensation return to her. She had entertained the thought that the fight had made Lloyd behave this way…but again…why wouldn't he talk to her about it?

Towelling off, Colette retrieved the new underwear from her bag and felt her heart pound. The excitement she had felt upon buying them returned, pushing aside her unease. Not that Colette thought Lloyd would see the underwear on her, she felt her blood pumping hard in her veins, but he had seen her buy it and he knew she'd be wearing it. A half baked idea of his reaction excited her. Who knew what went on in a boy's head? Colette considered on the margins of possibility that he might find it sexy, but found more plausible the idea that he would recognise her gratitude at the gesture.

Dressing quickly, she found her reflection in a half length mirror. She couldn't see below her knees, but inspected the upper half of her body. The lace scratched her unaccustomed skin slightly, but it was comfortable. Not only that but the padding in her bra did its job beautifully. Colette was surprised by how much of a difference it actually made and smiled. She'd didn't know what she wanted Lloyd to do or say, but the unlimited possibilities made her breath come in short intakes.

AN: This chapter and chapter 5 were the same chapter but it ended up as a massive chappie so I chopped it in half…I hope it stills flows okay.


	5. Chapter 5

AN: The other half of the giant chapter…again I hope this flows okay

Lloyd felt his boots heavy as he ascended the wooden staircase. Stopping dead centre between the two rooms, the tall young man fingered his key thoughtfully. Wash up, or check in on Colette? Even though he had had an agenda to find out what was bugging the town, he hadn't been able to stop thinking about her all day. Tapping lightly on her door, he waited for any sounds of movement. When none came, he frowned deeply. He wanted to see her but could face risking walking in on her again. Swallowing hard, Lloyd opened the door a crack.

"Colette?" He called softly. The room was still and motionless. His brown eyes danced nervously over the floor in front of him, before he pushed the door wide open. A relieved smile melted his tense expression. Colette sat in chair by the window, her head resting on crossed arms on the window ledge. Dimming evening sunlight gently swathed her body. Lengths of the new blue dress fell from the chair as she dozed quietly. Colette often fell asleep like this. He knew the pattern. She would wash her hair and sit by the window, thinking or singing to herself until her spun gold tresses dried. Sometimes they chatted or she read. He couldn't bear to disturb her, but it seemed his very presence in the room already had.

Her blue eyes flitted open, bringing her spirit back to life. She stared into space for a moment before she noticed the figure in red behind her. Straightening up in her chair she smiled dozily. "Hi Lloyd"

Lloyd smiled softly back at her; normality restored even for just this moment.

She suddenly remembered why Lloyd had been gone. "Lloyd, how did it go? What did you find?"

The young swordsman blew out a breath rolling his eyes. Sitting on her bed he leant back on his elbows. "This town is messed up Colette. They have some serious problems going on"

Colette listened intently as Lloyd recounted what he had gathered in the last few hours. She nodded as he explained that the town was famous for its wine, but that the process had become very expensive. The newest Mayor had upset his town by sending the work out of town to cheaper contractors. Now on the annual summer wine festival, he had ordered wine that wasn't even made from their grapes. This had outraged the town's people and caused some massive divides.

"That's awful…I suppose people do some really awful things for money. Maybe he doesn't have a family" Colette said thoughtfully resting her head on one hand.

Lloyd looked up at the ceiling. "You're right Colette, he doesn't have a family. He only has his money to keep him company. I guess that's why it's so important to him."

Colette nodded quietly in agreement.

The young swordsman failed miserably in keeping his gaze from her. Her wide blue eyes looked a little crestfallen as she stared out the window at the village below, busying itself for the festival.

"The festival's still going ahead, if you still want to go" Lloyd enquired trying his hardest to read her mind.

She smiled gently and nodded.

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By the time the two adventurers were ready to celebrate the festival, the town square had been decorated in bunting. Paper lanterns hung from the street lamps and the trees. Torches burned outside the doors on long poles. A large bandstand had been erected, and a few musicians already stood tuning their instruments. All round there was an electricity in the air. The warm night teamed with the sweet smell of festival food, created an excited buzz. Colette felt herself growing excited at the prospect of dancing, playing games and watching the stars with Lloyd. Glancing up at him she smiled when his gaze turned on her. Everyone seemed to have put the arguments of the day behind them and decided to enjoy the party despite their mayor's decisions; politics could wait for tomorrow. A large crowd of people bustled about waiting for the band to strike up. Women fussed around the long tables brimming with drink and food, while their children ran in and out between their legs playing tag. The men had already started drinking for the most part as the young people of the village did what young people do and drew coy smiles at the opposite sex.

As the band began to play, Colette clapped her hands in time with the music. Lloyd stuck one thumb in his waistband and watched amused as women dragged their partners to the dance-floor: a cobbled area of the town square big enough for a barn. He looked down at Colette and chewed his lip slightly. He was nervous and didn't know how he was going to say what he knew he needed to say.

Before the swordsman had the chance to contemplate the words he had been debating over all day, a boy about his age and near enough his height approached he and Colette. The young man bowed his head slightly at the short blonde.

"Hi there, would you like to dance?" He asked softly.

Colette looked to Lloyd for approval. Dumb, Lloyd shrugged his large shoulders. The beautiful Chosen smiled at the handsome youth who had approached and took his outstretched hand. As they made their way through the crowd to the dance floor, Lloyd never let his eyes stray from her form. He had never been one for dancing, and Colette knew it; she would never have asked him to dance tonight. However, he didn't like the idea of her dancing with another man any better! The first little protests of jealousy flared in his heart, as Colette's partner birled her on the floor and her hair flowed out like a curtain of sunshine in the torchlight. Her dress swished out around her and exposed her peachy thighs.

A wave of sadness suddenly washed away his jealousy. She looked so happy dancing there, moving to the music. Colette had never had the chance to do the things normal little girls did. She wasn't allowed to dream of things like princes and princesses dancing in heavenly ballrooms. She had had no ambitions of being wined and dined by her own handsome prince. This at least Lloyd knew. What could he offer her? He had offered her nothing of worth so far. The young man holding Colette so precariously in his grasp was normal; he had a normal job, a normal house and a normal life. Colette deserved a little bit of normality in her life. Even if it was boring, even if it was mundane, he knew it was exactly what her heart had longed for since she was child. No, she wasn't allowed to dream of fairytales…but she dreamed of being just like everyone else. What right did he have to expect her to follow him on his endless errand?

On the dance floor, Colette and her partner moved briskly in and out of other couples, keeping pace with the cheery folk tune.

"What's your name?" The sandy haired man asked her gently. His voice was soft like Lloyd's, but not nearly as deep.

"I'm Colette" She said, blushing despite herself. She wasn't used to men looking at her as intensely as her dance partner was now.

"Colette: that's a lovely name. I'm Will. I work here at the vineyards." He beamed, pleased to have been introduced to such a sweet girl. "Colette, if you don't mind me saying so; you're very beautiful"

The Chosen felt her face grow hot as she looked anywhere but Will. "Umm thank you…" She didn't know what to say. She'd never been called beautiful before.

Will shifted her gently in his arms and leaned towards her ear. "So I take it your boyfriend doesn't like to dance?"

Colette shook her head causing her fringe and bangs to settle around her face in little curls. "Lloyd's not my boyfriend…but no, he doesn't like to dance."

"Not your boyfriend, huh?" Will's words sounded thoughtful, but his intense and handsome eyes were focused very purposely on hers. "This conversation keeps getting better and better Colette"

As the night wore on, Colette danced with several different men. Lloyd watched, envied and despaired to himself. When the band died down, the couple reunited and purveyed the various spectacles the townsfolk had put together. Eventually Colette persuaded Lloyd to take part in the annual frog hunt with her. Apparently generations ago, frog numbers had boomed in the swamps not far from the village. The inhabitants had no choice but to round up as many as they could to cure the infestation. Now, at this time of year when the tadpoles eventually emerged from the water fully developed, the participants of the game raced to gather more than everyone else. Afterwards the frogs were thrown back. Lloyd was relieved inside to be able to do something with Colette he'd actually be _able_ to do!

Having been handed a large wicker laundry basket and a net they trundled off with the rest of the villagers down well used earthen paths to the river's edge. Other young couples, obviously in love all but skipped through the rushes and long grass. There was laughter and smiles by the shore where the fireflies danced on the river's still surface. The air was warm and slightly sticky and fragrant with jasmine and waterlilies. Even Lloyd noted how perfectly romantic it was and felt his throat tighten.

"Oh Lloyd look! I saw one jump over there!" Colette squealed, pulling on her best friend's arm. She ran ahead of him trying to find where the little green animal had disappeared into the grass. The light was low and Colette was lit dimly by the sun's dying reflection on the water's surface. She giggled as she chased the creature along the bank.

The sight of her; long legged, barefoot and innocent, stole his resolve and robbed him of all thought. Her dress hung so beautifully on her slender figure and begged him just to touch her. The song of the crickets and the night warblers was a perfect backdrop to this forest sprite who skipped and leapt about the banks of the river. Lloyd only wished he could have taken her here alone, brought a picnic and a bottle of wine. Carefree and in love they would relax in the twilight with the fireflies darting about lazily through the thick warm air. But the heaviness in his chest made him ache with foreboding.

Colette stared at Lloyd for a few moments, he seemed transfixed by something. "Lloyd, will you help me catch some of these frogs?"

Her words seemed to bring him around. Dropping the basket to the ground, Lloyd removed his heavy red gloves and stuck them into the waistband of his trousers. The two began to search through the long rushes until a movement caught Lloyd's attention.

"Hey Colette! Check this out! He's huge!"

A massively fat toad squatted low in the grass. He had to be the size of both of the swordsman's hands! Colette rushed to his side and crouched next to him.

"Woah! Lloyd! I've never seen a frog that size! He's-"

Colette's speech was cut off as she turned to face the chestnut haired swordsman. They sat so close to one another that their noses almost touched. When the surprise subsided, Colette felt her breath hitch as Lloyd's gaze focused on her lips. There was something so unexpected and awesomely passionate behind the gaze. It sent shivers running down her spine. As for Lloyd, coherent thought was becoming difficult. He couldn't remember being as close to her like this before. When they had crossed this line, he wasn't sure. He couldn't take her all in at once. Her flesh was so pale and perfect in the dim light and her eyes, ye Gods, what eyes! They shone with an almost supernatural light he knew could only come from her soul; the low light catching the deep flecks of blue. Those lips! Parted in surprise they begged for his touch; his taste. How could he resist? How could he resist an open invitation to steal a kiss from her perfectly full and rosy lips? Her eyes were soft with emotion but wide in excitement and anticipation. They became heavy as the slow slide to the inevitable drew Lloyd and Colette closer and closer.

Mere inches from claiming that which he had wanted since he was eight, Lloyd halted. Closing his eyes in torment, he pulled away. Colette's eyes opened slowly, disappointment battling fiercely in her soul. The swordsman averted his eyes.

"C-Colette, I wanted to ask you something"

"…Yes Lloyd?"

"…Umm…I-uh thought we might go back to Iselia…for a short break…would you like to?"

Sitting back on her haunches, Colette looked down at her hands. Why was he asking this now? What had just happened? Embarrassment glowed hot in her crimson cheeks.

"Yes Lloyd, I would. It's been a while since I've seen my family."

Lloyd couldn't bear the look of heartbreak on her face and reached out, placing a hand on the side of her cheek. He brushed back the hair from her face and gazed at her. Her hot cheeks blazed warmer beneath his bare hands and she smiled bashfully at him, her confidence restored, if only a little. The swordsman's heart contradicted his demeanour by thudding erratically in his ribcage.

There he had said it. He had sealed their fate. He was going to do what he knew was best. He was finally going to free her from the never ending fighting; the battling for a goal which they might never achieve. Lloyd was finally going to allow her to live. The price for this freedom?

The young swordsman stared at his beautiful friend, his heart broken at the thought of saying goodbye.

AN: Oh, I meant to mention –a "birl" is a Scottish word for a twirl in a dance. It usually implies repeated twirls

On another note; I hope after having read this chapter you understand where the fics is going and why things have been as they have. I hope you still enjoy it, but I am anyway.


	6. Chapter 6

AN: Sorry for the long haitus. I'm trying to finish this fic off this week because I'm going to be back at uni full time after that. So hopefully things will be rounded off nicely and satisfactorily. Anyway enjoy and thanks so much for reading

Colette Brunel watched the raindrops streak their way down the thick glass of her bedroom window. Slowly-slowly, they trickled unevenly in a sad race to the inevitable puddle at the bottom. The grey sky hung like an oppressive canopy above the dark trees, pointing up like broken glass from the forest. The dark, heavy weather reflected the face of the young woman sitting at her window. Unmoving she stared at everything and nothing, her eyes run dry of their tears. A small gold pendant lay on the sill of the window, growing cold now that its hours of fingering were over. _He_ had made it for her.

Reality still had not sunk below her skin and become hers. She still watched and waited. Watched and waited for his tall figure to walk, in that way that was only his, through the town gate. However as she watched she saw only rain, turning the gate into the most miserable thing she had ever seen. His figure didn't appear. Day after day she sat mutely, still, in the grey Autumn light.

It had been two months since they arrived in Iselia. The summer was still in bloom and the sleepy little village was just as they'd left it. The town threw a dance that night and celebrated a great harvest and the return of their heroes. Colette had noticed Lloyd's demeanour and it dragged her down too. He looked tired, weary and older than his years against the backdrop of their children. He played the part, smiling and shaking people's hands as they told him how proud they were of him and what great thing he'd done. He barely touched his food and retired early. Before he went to bed, he pulled her aside.

Lloyd's warm brown eyes strained to meet her azure blue gaze. His gloved hands gripped her tiny bare one like his life depended on it. His mouth moved without sound for the longest of moments before his eyes dropped to the ground to stay. He wished her good night and drew her into a tight hug. Colette's face had blazed at the time, the memory of their near miss at the summer festival still fresh in her mind. She had assumed that the awkwardness he seemed to exude was because of the encounter. How naïve she had been!

At the memory a tear escaped Colette's eye and she blinked it back, failing to catch it. Back then she had watched his slumped form retreating in the summer moonlight through the town gates. Little did she know it would be the last she saw of him.

The following morning, she awoke to the last day of her happiness. As she sat at her place at the breakfast table and smiled and chatted with her grandmother and her father, she knew nothing of the impending heartache. Even as the late morning drew and she gathered the last blooms of the summer from their small garden, Lloyd's absence drew little of her attention. When he didn't show later that day, the Chosen packed a basket with her grandmother's baking, homemade lemonade and a pose of daisies from the garden and set off barefoot for her best friend's house. Even though her world had been shaken top to bottom, Colette still felt the peace and happiness she had known as a child. Glancing at the apple tree in Mrs Gibson's garden, although smaller to her adult eyes than it had been when she climbed on it as a child, she felt the same happiness and contentment. She could pretend again that she was five years old and unaware of her destiny – when nothing bothered her except stinging nettles and the drone of a nearby wasp.

As she approached Dirk's house, she pushed the trailing branch away from the gateway and smiled at the moss-draped walls of the dwarf's abode. A picnic was just what Lloyd would need to cheer him up, and Colette hadn't seen Dirk yet – the flowers were for him. But as she approached the door she saw the small stocky form of Lloyd's surrogate father and felt her pace slow. His heavy brows were furrowed, not in anger, but in concern.

"Hello Dirk! It's lovely to see you!"

The old dwarf forced a raw smile on his weathered face. "Aye lass, come in" he said, the enthusiasm drained from his words.

Colette felt her unease grow as she entered the semi-darkness of the small house. There was something wrong – something Dirk was keeping from her.

"Umm, is Lloyd around?" She ventured.

The old man gave her a reluctant sidelong glance. With a sigh he sat down opposite her at the kitchen table. "He's gone lass"

"What?" The words barely escaped the Chosen's lips as she stood transfixed.

Dirk seemed to squirm in his chair. "He up and left last night. Said he had work to do and to tell you..." He trailed off, rubbing awkwardly at the base of his neck.

Colette sprang forward gripping the edge of the table. "…To tell me what Dirk? Where is he?"

The dwarf took a few moments to gather his resolve before standing and looking the young girl squarely in the eye. "He said to tell you, you were holding him back. He's got a job to do lass and he cannae get on wi' it wi' you hingin' around all the time. He won't be back Colette. Jus' get on wi' yer life"

Dirk seemed to regret his harshness as he saw the hurt begin to collect on the vacant features of the young blonde woman. "I'm sorry lass, but it's probably for the better."

The words didn't register with Colette and just died on Dirk's lips. Coming to her senses, Colette shot out of the door and down the garden path like lightning. Her dress whipped out behind her like a tail. Meeting the trail she tripped over her own feet and fell to her knees, sending her basket flying. Sitting up, she frantically glanced down both directions of the empty forest path. He _was _gone. He was gone. Salty wetness streamed down her cheeks, silently, blurring her vision and twisting and wrenching her inside. For the longest time she just sat there; a pathetic figure kneeling amidst her strewn and crushed cookies and leaking lemonade, her flowers broken and mashed beneath her fall. Her palms were raw and cut and her heart smashed along with her picnic on the road.

He was gone. The words still didn't register at times. It seemed such a weird and surreal dream that couldn't be true. He had always been there; always been there for her. She had tried to do the same for him, but she just held him back. She wasn't skilled enough to be any help to him. Maybe he thought all his trouble trying to save her from Mithos had been in vain. Maybe it had been.

Maybe Dirk was right. Maybe she should just get on with her life and forget about him. How could she? He _was_ her life she came to realise. She hung on his every word, she waited for him to wake before she came alive; she was at his beckon call. She knew exactly how to read the smallest nuance of his behaviour. If that were true how could she have missed the way he felt about her? Maybe fate had been right all along. Maybe she wasn't allowed to have a life. Was fate that cruel? Did it take pleasure in allowing her a few years of delusion; to believe that she could be happy even that she had a right to be, to then take it away? Perhaps it didn't care about a failure like her. Maybe fate had nothing to do with it. Maybe there were no happy endings.

How long would she sit at this window watching for something she knew was never going to happen? She had tried to carry on as she would have if she'd never left home, but in the middle of doing the simplest chore she'd become lost, staring at the gate and its emptiness. She lay awake each night, empty and numb without list or any wish to wake up the next day. How many days would it take to stop caring? How many weeks would it take to stop thinking about him? How many months and years would it take to stop hurting like this?

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...

Lloyd lay on his back staring up at the apex ceiling of the tent. He hadn't slept again tonight. He couldn't get rid of her face from his dreams. There was a lump in his chest that felt so heavy when he breathed. He had never felt as bad as this in his entire life. It felt as though he had left part of himself behind; as though something so unnatural had happened to pull him apart. Worse still, he couldn't stop thinking about her standing there in the mid-summer moonlight, watching silently after him as he left her life forever without telling her goodbye. It had been hard not to break down in front of her, harder still to fight the urge to forget all about the exspheres and just kiss her like his body was screaming at him to. He knew he would miss her, but he didn't realise how much of his soul he'd left behind with her; how much of him she owned. Sitting up, Lloyd pulled on his boots and began to put away his tent.

He walked down the dirt road, feeling the frost crunch beneath his heavy worn boots. It had been so painful at first not to see her shadow marching alongside his with that little bounce she never lost. It still hurt, but the sting had been taken away by exhaustion. Winter was coming and he was so glad to be able to spare her the chill, the ice and cold this time. She had loved it in Flanoir, but this was different. This was a dredge.

Finally coming to a secluded spot, Lloyd pulled a small pouch from his belt and emptied three exspheres into his hand. Staring at their shiny polished surfaces each a slightly different hue than the others, Lloyd felt his brow crease. He could never have put his own desires before this job. It filled him with intense guilt each time he saw one liberated. It had been a person at one time. Even when Regal handed over the enormous volume of exspheres it had taken to power the Tethe'alla Bridge Lloyd hadn't felt the burden any lighter. Now as he carefully lined up the exspheres, he knew he would feel no better when they were gone. Knowing he was the son of the man who helped create the damn things he felt the overwhelming responsibility was his to bear.

Bowing his head, Lloyd continued the little tradition Colette had started. She felt that because the exspheres had been people once, they should be given a proper send off. She would pick flowers and make little garlands put around the exspheres and she would lead Lloyd in prayer for the safe journey of the souls to the otherworld. Now Lloyd had to say those prayers without the carefully picked and preened flowers and without his Colette.

He stood up and drew his swords. With an almighty bellow he swung the massive blade down on the small marbles. They instantly shattered into dust. An eerie light rose from them and Lloyd well knew the small sound of rushing air was the sighs of those finally free from their imprisonment. Then once again, he was empty and alone. Sheathing his swords again, Lloyd scowled at the dust which had exploded across the hard earth. There was still a long way to go, but first he'd deal with Manfred and his men.


	7. Chapter 7

AN: I'm glad everyone enjoyed the last chapter, but here's where the real action begins. Hold on to your seats folks, it's the beginning of the end of the fic. I don't know where the middle started, but it's definitely over now. Yep so here's chapter 7 – enjoy

Lloyd shifted the heavy rucksack on his shoulder, pulling his coat more tightly around himself. It was early November and already the snow had started to fall. His heavy red boots crunched down in the thick, dazzling snow, leaving a footprint several inches thick. He must have been travelling along this road for at least six hours without a break and the November chill was beginning to become more than he could bear. If he was correct, then the small village he and Colette had visited for the summer festival should be coming up in the next half and hour or so. It would look very different now from how it had in the summer he supposed. His heart felt heavy and ached with the thought of it.

The monotony of his memories stung like a Desian guard's whip over and over until he could take no more. From the moment he and Colette met back in Iselia all those years ago, to the tender moments in Flanoir and the important ones in the Tower Salvation…every moment in their lives together had been replayed in his mind again and again. He was tired of it, so very tired and he missed her more than he had thought possible. Nothing could distract him even for a moment. She was always there in his mind, with her gentle manner, angelic looks and voice like sweet honey. How could he ever banish such a perfect creature from his mind?

Out of the slowly drifting snow, a sign appeared amidst the trees. It read "Sohm – World Renown Wines!" Sohm, that's what it was called. Lloyd took a deep breath and marched on. It wouldn't take long to reach Caifa once he had slept and eaten a little. Then he would root out Manfred and his men. He'd have those exspheres and he'd get revenge for Colette. The revenge she'd never dream of asking for, seeking, or even thinking of. But Lloyd needed it as much for himself as for Colette. He couldn't live the rest of his life feeling like he'd failed her. He had too many burdens to carry. Manfred would pay for what happened to her, and maybe then Lloyd would feel for even a moment, the relief of unburdened guilt.

Reaching the town limits, Lloyd gazed around the quiet town centre. The cobbled town square where he had watched Colette dance and spin, laughing and smiling, had been cleared of snow. The streetlamps, doorways, roofs and canopies were coated in a layer of white, making it look just like Flanoir. Lloyd sighed heavily at the thought of the missed opportunities both this town and Flanoir had offered him. Trudging on despite his thoughts, Lloyd arrived at the inn, he had stayed in he last they had been here. He hoped with all his heart he wouldn't be offered the room Colette had slept in. That might break him apart. It had taken so long just to think of the tent as his again. For so long he kept to his side and agonised over the empty space left. He didn't have enough energy to go through that again here.

Lloyd approached the counter and registered for a room. Mercifully it wasn't either of the rooms he had booked the last time. He noticed they had already been booked. What he didn't notice was the gaze of the figure standing in the dining room doorway. Garalas, the town mayor watched with interest as the young swordsman made his way up the staircase, before he disappeared into the darkened room.

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Colette opened the drawer of her oaken cabinet. Placing inside a small neatly folded pile of clothing, she closed it softly with a quiet click. Glancing up at the window, she noticed it had begun to snow outside. Drawn to the glass, she watched the small flakes collect on what was left alive of their small garden. Her breath steamed the freezing pane and obscured her view. Returning to the task at hand, Colette's mind wandered to him, as usual. She wondered if he was keeping himself warm. She prayed he would pay that little extra to stay at an inn or shrine rather than camp. Even if he were travelling with Zelos, or Genis, or anyone she could lay some of the worry to rest. He was all alone, and as was his nature he probably wouldn't think of himself.

"Colette! Come and have some tea!" Phaidra's soft voice floated upstairs over the whistling of a boiled kettle.

"Yes, Granny, I'm coming!" Colette called back, tiredly.

Descending the stairs, the young woman instantly felt the heat of the hearth on her skin. The kitchen was small and cosy, with its rough exposed brickwork and worn oaken furniture. Her grandmother stood at the stove pouring tea for two. Colette heaped a plate with biscuits and cookies and knelt at the fire. Phaidra passed her granddaughter her small chipped cup and sat herself in the old rocking chair with a soft groan. Settling down, the elderly woman sipped at her tea. The fire crackled and hissed quietly, accompanied by the ticking of the wall clock. The snow absorbed any sound from outside and a comfortable silence fell on the two.

Phaidra glanced at her granddaughter with a sad sigh. She stared off forlornly at the flickering flames, watching them spark and dance, their heat not penetrating her heart. The old woman felt her heart ache for her child. She had been so terrified for her little Colette when it had appeared to them that she was the Chosen who would revive the world. People had told her how proud she must be and she agreed, but secretly her heart was broken. Yes it was a great honour to have produced a Chosen…but she would never be Phaidra's. She would never be allowed a family of her own, or experience life properly and to its full. When her little Colette returned five years ago, alive and full of spirit having saved the world anyway, she couldn't thanks the gods enough. Now, to watch her heart breaking as she sat in the harsh heat of the fire, Phaidra knew this was another fate she could not rescue her granddaughter from.

"Colette, it's been nearly three months." The old woman's voice was soft and warm, but the words sunk into Colette like nettles.

She blinked sadly down at her tea. She knew what her grandmother was going to say because she had already heard it, and she had already agreed.

"Maybe it's time for you to forget about him and enjoy your life"

She meant well, Colette knew, but she had been trying. She had tried to so hard to forget his smile, his scent and his voice, but as she lay huddled in her little bed each night she felt the emptiness inside her become larger and larger. Sipping her tea, the young woman sighed deeply.

Phaidra knew her words were little comfort, nor any direction. She didn't know what else to say to address the familiar feeling she had experienced herself. Gazing at the blonde angel before her, Phaidra reached a hand out to stroke the long golden tresses which flowed silkily down Colette's back. She could feel her pain and felt so inept to help her.

"My dear, when you were just a little girl, your granddaddy died, do you remember?"

Colette bobbed her head gently, feeling a lump in her throat. The old woman leant back in her chair and stared at the fire, reminiscing on her life.

"He was a wonderful man; so warm and caring, so much like your father. When he died, I was devastated. I had lived with him for forty-odd years." Her voice remained steady even as the thought saddened her deeply. "I thought I would never be able to get over it. I couldn't believe that I would ever feel any better." It had been hard on the whole family. Pierre Brunel had been the head of the family in mind body and spirit and his passing left an enormous hole that was never really filled. "Sometimes I found it impossible to get out of bed, or even do the simplest tasks…but it got better, it got easier, until one day I went to bed and realised I hadn't thought about Pierre at all that day."

Colette frowned deeply, the tears beginning to well up in her eyes.

"I know it seems impossible right now, but one day you'll wake up and you'll smile again child and Lloyd Irving will be a distant memory." Phaidra smiled sadly, knowing inside that her words were simply wishful thinking. "I think it's time for you to put away all the things that remind you of him and try to forget. It will only hurt more if you carry on like this."

The young blonde Chosen nodded slowly, the lump in her throat making it impossible to say anything. Perhaps her Grandmother was right. Rising to her feet, Colette hid her tear-stained from the old woman, placing her cup on the table and making her way up the staircase. The heat of the kitchen left her chilled in the semi-darkness of the winter afternoon. She could feel the sobs rising in her chest and knew she couldn't contain them any longer. Flopping down on her bed, the tears burst forth, offering her no poultice for her wounded soul. She felt as though her whole body was caving in on itself and would at any moment explode. How could she let go of him? Forget slowly and surely the most important thing in her life? Sniffing back the remnants of her tears, Colette sat up shakily, gulping the air. Her eyes rested on the gold pendant on her window-ledge. Lloyd had made it for her twenty first birthday. She remembered the leather gloves in her still unpacked backpack. Lloyd had made those too. Finally, she glanced at her chakrams, abandoned by the door unmoved since she had flung them aside in excitement at being home. Lloyd had crafted these new lighter chakrams the last time they had been back in Iselia.

Maybe piece by piece she would be able to let go of him. If she took them back to Dirk would this heavy pain become lighter? It scared her that it would make the wound deeper—having nothing of him left to have and hold. Phaidra's words were still fresh in her mind and the promise of a way out of the pain taunted her fiercely. Things could never go back to being normal. Normal was hanging on Lloyd's every word and knowing that the next day would be just as good as the last, win or lose. She would have to reinvent normal and be happy with what she had. What she had now was what she had always dreamed of; a house, a garden and her family…but without Lloyd.

Rubbing at her nose, Colette slowly reached for the gold pendant, turning it over in her hand once as if to say goodbye. Pocketing the small shiny charm, she knelt at the foot of her bed, where her backpack slouched. Rummaging through, she found the worn pair of gloves, several sizes too big for her and felt their worn familiarity. Lastly, she retrieved her chakrams from the doorway, the most painful to part with. They gave her a reason to be with Lloyd. They gave her a worth and value. Yes she was clumsy, yes she got hurt more often than anyone else, but yes, they made her feel useful. A sour thought entered her head. She wasn't useful. That's why Lloyd left her behind, because she got in his way and held him back. Eyes filling with tears, she frowned in fresh pain; suddenly desperate to get rid of them.

Biting back the bitter tears, Colette hurriedly dressed for the snow and ventured down the stairs. Phaidra glanced up from her rocking chair as Colette reached the floor. She noted the chakrams in Colette's hands and smiled sadly. "Only do this if you're ready Colette"

Colette nodded softly before reaching for the door handle. Her warm white boots sank gently into the powdery snow beneath her. The town was quiet, the early evening beginning to creep in. The children had had their snowball fights and built their snowmen and were now all safely tucked inside awaiting their warm soup and tea. She was alone as she ignored the school house where so much of her wonderful childhood had been spent. When she reached the town gate, she paused. It had been two and a half months since she entered these gates and two and half months since Lloyd had left them, forever it seemed. She glanced down the forest path wondering to herself which route he had taken. Her heart sank at the thought that he'd never see it again.

She'd have waited for him, she mused as she walked towards Dirk's house, slowly, less keen than ever to see the kindly dwarf. If he wanted to do it himself, she'd have waited until the day he had finished, if he'd left her the hope that he even cared about her. But like her picnic that day, just at the spot she stood, hope had been smashed to pieces. He didn't care.

Finally at the door of Dirk's house, Colette flexed her fingers around the chakrams she held. She knew she had to do this if she was ever going to get over Lloyd. It didn't make it any easier though. Knocking lightly, she waited until the little dwarf appeared in the threshold. His face visibly blanched at the sight of the beautiful red cheeked Chosen.

"Hello Dirk. I'm sorry to bother you. I just…" Colette's voice was small, and she felt completely unwelcome standing in the porch where she spent so many warm summers.

Dirk's moustache rose in a smile, albeit uncomfortable. "Come in oot the cold lassie."

She stepped into the wooden house to find the small wood-burning stove filling the room with not only heat but a warm glow from floor to ceiling. Sitting down at the large wooden table, Colette took her gloves off as the warmth flooded her coat.

"Its bitter cold oot there and it's no even December yet!" He remarked glancing out the window as he stoked the fire. "Now, wit can a dae fur you Colette?" He asked in his rough northern accent.

The Chosen placed the chakrams down gently on the table and emptied her pockets of the leather gloves and the pendant, running her fingers over it one last time. Dirk's forced smile faltered from his face as he stared at the objects before him. He knew why she was here.

"I'm sorry Dirk, but I can't keep these any more." Her eyes lingered on them for only a moment before she looked at the floor between her feet.

"Look lass, I cannae take them from you. Lloyd gave them as presents. He would want you to keep them!" He pleaded, finding the situation hard to deal with. Emotions had never been an easy subject with the solitary dwarf.

Colette felt her bottom lip quiver and the lump in her throat forcing the tears to well up again. "Please Dirk…I…" Her voice became strangled as the tears spilled down her cheeks. "…it hurts too much" She had tried so hard not to cry in front of him. She had tried so hard not to think of this as giving her feelings away. She wanted to keep them and hold them tight. They were all she had left of Lloyd.

Dirk let go an almighty sigh. "Colette, I…" Her attention was drawn as she blushed, full of embarrassment for the emotional outburst she had displayed. Dirk too looked uncomfortable, but it was with guilt. He glanced at her wide tearful eyes and sighed again, slumping against the wall. "Colette, lass, I've…I've no been straight wi' you"

The dwarf looked torn as his guilty gaze focused anywhere but her face.

"What…what do you mean Dirk?" Colette asked, wiping the moisture from her blotchy face.

"Lloyd, Lloyd left a letter…"

The confession made the Chosen sit up straight, her eyes wide in surprise. "A letter?"

With another sigh Dirk wandered over to a tall well-carved dresser against the wall. "Aye, a letter, addressed to you." With that he retrieved an envelope from the wide drawer.

Colette squinted at the paper, able to make out her name in Lloyd's hurried, messy writing. Her body seemed to come alive with adrenaline. With short excited breaths she stared at Lloyd's father, unable to believe the turn of events.

"I kept it from you, because I knew what he was likely to have written." He sat down at the table across from her. With a sad grin he held it out. "The damn fool o' a boy thought that if he told you the truth you'd agree with him. I thought it would be best if you thought he'd gotten tired of you"

Looking up at him with confusion, Colette reached slowly for the letter. It seemed to take an age to hold it with both hands. It seemed so surreal to be holding this little piece of Lloyd she couldn't imagine she'd have been given. It seemed something sacred, holding good or bad within. She didn't know whether to open it or just treasure it, knowing that he cared enough to write. The expression of the boy's surrogate father, his face weary with nerves, was enough to convince her she should know what it said. Carefully opening the seal, Colette unfolded as crumpled piece of paper and began to read.

_Dear Colette_

_I'm really sorry that I left you behind. Before you start thinking about things, it's not cause your clumsy, or a girl or anything dumb like that. You have to understand that I did what I thought was best. You deserve the best, and you deserve to be happy and you can't be when you're running about after exspheres. You deserve a normal life Colette. I have to do this, but I can't ask you to do without anymore. _

_Please don't try to come after me, cause you won't find me. I hope you have a happy life Colette. You are my best friend and I care about you more than you'll ever know. More than I could ever say. I hope you get to have all the things you ever wanted. I'll never forget you and maybe one day we'll see each other again, but I want you to get on with your life. I guess I'm repeating myself now._

_Thanks for being the best friend I ever had, and never forget how amazing you are, cause I won't._

_Love_

_Lloyd._

Colette sat back in her chair slowly, a small tear tracing her features. Dirk peered at her, but she couldn't take her eyes off the paper. She must have read the letter three times over before Dirk interrupted her.

"What does it say lass?" he asked, a little impatiently.

The Chosen looked up at him, breathlessly. Her eyes stared off at the wall behind him as a thought grew and grew in her mind. She almost didn't hear what he said to her.

"Colette! What does it say?"

Colette stood up suddenly, a smile blossoming on her face. "I have to go Dirk! I have to tell Lloyd!"

The dwarf mimicked her by standing. "What? Go? Tell Lloyd what? Look just forget ab—"

"Please! Tell my grandmother and my dad where I've gone. I have to see him." She pulled her coat on and fumbled with the buttons excitedly, almost deliriously.

"No Colette! Listen—"

"No!" Colette didn't quite shout, but her raised voice was enough to stop the protests of the startled dwarf, "Don't you see? He doesn't hate me! I don't care about having a normal life Dirk! I just want…" She trailed off, suddenly unsure. He'd said he cared about her, but he didn't say he loved her either. Scrambling for the letter, Colette scanned it for the words she needed.

…_I care about you more than you'll ever know. More than I could ever say…_

…_Love_

_Lloyd…_

Dirk stood at the door, as Colette turned to leave. He folded his arms across his barrel chest. His furry eyebrows were angled in a frown. "Colette. This is serious. Lloyd left you behind for a reason. He doesn't want you to get hurt. It's the only reason he could to leave you behind. If you go back now, you'll be putting more pressure on him."

Colette let her eyes fall. He had a point, but why couldn't she tell herself he was right? She suddenly looked up at him, determination blazing in her eyes. "You're right Dirk, but if I don't go back Lloyd will be all alone and he'll never stop. He's done more than his share—it's his turn to have a normal life. I'll bring him home"

The nerves and tension that seemed to have been holding Dirk up for months and months disappeared in an instant. "Bring him home? You think he'll come?"

Colette smiled again, she could see that Dirk had been as worried about Lloyd as she had been. "I'll show him that he doesn't have to do this anymore Dirk. I hope that will be enough."

She gave the dwarf a kiss on the cheek and rushed out into the snow. Waving goodbye to him, she let her wings manifest and lift her into the air. "Tell me Gran and Dad I'll be home soon!" She called after him as he became a memory beneath the trees below her.

She was on her way and wouldn't rest until she had found him again. If he didn't love her, she didn't know how she'd react, but she had to free him from this sentence he had imposed upon himself and she had to free herself from this heartache.

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In Sohm, amidst the shadows in a quiet corner of a local tavern, a massive man sat alone. His tankard of ale was nearly finished and he pounded the table with his huge fist. A nearby barmaid looked up from her conversation and nodded at him, rushing off to fetch him another tankard. Emerging from the low-lying tobacco smoke, Garalas fanned his thin hand in front of his face. A frown pulling on his long effeminate features, he crossed the room and intercepted the barmaid, taking the drink from her and heading for the huge shadowy figure. Sliding the wooden vessel across the table, Garalas placed himself opposite the man, intertwining his long bony fingers his frowning expression never faltered.

Waiting until the giant of a man had taken a swig of his drink he spoke. "I see you're not sampling some of our trademark wine then?"

A hearty laugh burst forth from the bulk, which leaned forward into the light. "Wine? I hear _your_ wine comes from further-a-field these days."

Any sign of mirth in the thin well preened mayor left him. "Enough of that. I'm just fulfilling my end of the bargain Manfred."

Manfred smiled jovially at the mayor. "Don't berate me little man, I got that work contract from Daelaide for you for _your wine_"

Garalas narrowed his eyes. "I'm grateful Manfred, don't accuse me of ingratitude. Besides, I didn't come here to argue. I came to tell you about that boy you wanted to find"

The massive gang-leader known as Manfred slammed his tankard down hard and listened intently. "The Red Swordsman? You found him?"

The mayor rolled his eyes, "Yes, he's booked a room at the inn. The girl isn't with him though and he didn't look as if he was carrying any of those exspheres with him."

Manfred had stopped listening though as he gulped down the rest of his drink and slammed the empty container on the surface. Standing he patted Garalas condescendingly on the head as he marched past him with a wicked grin twisting his features. The Red Swordsman; Hero of Tethe'alla and Sylvarant, Saint of Luin…was his!

AN: My goodness, that was a long chapter!! I couldn't stop writing though lol. I hope I've not tried to squeeze too much into it. I'm not trying to rush things, but I had this chapter planned like this and I didn't realise how much was involved I just want to say how grateful I am for your comments and critiques. While I do have a set course for this fanfic already planned, input is extremely appreciated. I don't have any beta-testers and as such your prompting has made me more careful in reading for grammatical and spelling errors. Having said that, please turn a blind eye to the spelling and grammar mistakes in this chapter. It took so long to write that I didn't have time to check it properly I will go back at a later date and fix anything. But I'm trying to churn out one chapter a day this week. Thanks again and I hope this fanfic continues to please you


	8. Chapter 8

AN: Thanks so much for your lovely reviews. This story will not be finished this week but will be so next week. Thanks for your patience and I hope you enjoy this chapter.

When Lloyd Irving slept, which was not very often these days, he dreamt of colours. It was always the same. He supposed more imaginative people dreamt about being chased or invented storylines which dashed from one event to another. His dreams were far simpler. He dreamt of reds and oranges, yellows and golds; blues and greens. They swirled and mixed in beautiful patterns and designs. This wasn't to say he didn't have nightmares. Darkness would surround him, swallow and suffocate him. But now, he dreamt of white; angel feathers rushing against his skin and cool hands touching his face. A burst of colour: aqua-marine, indigo, cerise, fuscia!

He awoke with a start as he felt the covers beneath him rush past his bare skin. He barely had time to lift his head to see what was happening in the semi-darkness of the hotel room, before his legs were pulled from the bed. With a terrific thud, Lloyd's head cracked off the wooden floor and his flailing arm reaching out in a panic pulled the night-stand with him. The china bowl which had sat on top, exploded in shards across the darkened floor. Someone had yanked him from the bed. He could barely hear voices around him as his head swam from the impact. Trying his best to focus, Lloyd felt the adrenaline pumping through his veins as someone roughly wrapped rope around his torso. He lashed out at the dozens of arms reaching to pin him down. Like a cornered animal he squirmed and convulsed trying to escape the grasp. He was on his stomach now and someone stomped a heavy foot between his bare shoulder-blades to keep him still.

Fighting to get a breath, Lloyd heard his own voice for the first time since he awoke. He was swearing and shouting curses: his voice husky and wheezing. He could hear their voices too. They spoke loud enough for other people in the inn to hear. Why wasn't anyone coming to help him? Lloyd started to call for help, but received a sharp kick to the face. Colours once again erupted in front of his eyes, but this time he wasn't dreaming: he could taste the blood.

The roughly woven ropes burned his flesh as they were pulled tight. His wrists were bound behind his back and his arms wrapped tight to his torso. A stinking hand pushed a greasy gag into his bloodied mouth. He recoiled; his tongue fighting to push it out. Two or more pairs of hands pushed his jaws together, thwarting his attempts and filling his nose full of blood. Lloyd nearly choked, hearing the "splat" of blood hitting on the floor. There was no air. He couldn't breathe!

"For God's sake!" one voice rose above the rest. "Take the gag out! He's gonna suffocate you idiot!"

The rag was ripped from his mouth and the air came. Pulled up onto his knees, Lloyd couldn't tell which way up he was facing. His head was swimming and he felt sick. As his head snapped back onto his shoulders, he felt himself drifting far away from his body, until he could see, hear and feel no more.

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As soon as her feet touched the ground, Colette allowed her wings to dissipate. With a mighty sigh she felt the strain suddenly released. Pulling herself over to a nearby rock, she flopped down exhausted. The young Chosen had been flying for about four hours so far today. She had been flying altogether for about six days now and she wasn't used to such exertion. It took a lot of concentration to fly. Floating and hovering required less because the force of the wings themselves pushed the weight of the tiny girl from the ground. It required more thought to stand on your feet with your wings akimbo! Flying was very difficult as it required understanding and correct use of air currents. Humans weren't meant to fly, and it came hard to Colette at first. Once you got used to bashing into trees and dropping from great heights when the wind died, you could learn quite quickly.

Lloyd hardly ever used his wings because he had no talent when it came to flying. It seemed too feminine when he tried and it was his own embarrassment more than anything which hampered his learning. Colette tried to reason that it would help him fight in battle because he could be more agile. Lloyd proved her theory incorrect as his style of combat required firm stances and it would need a different type of training to balance with such heavy swords. It didn't seem worth his while.

Colette drew a small parcel from her pocket. Wrapped in brown paper was a piece of snowball cake. Chewing on it tiredly, Colette thought once again how silly she had been just flying off without any supplies or provisions. What Lloyd would say she could imagine. He'd shake his head and call her a dork. She supposed it was pretty dorky, but it had been an emergency.

She thought about Lloyd and the familiar feeling of excitement mixed with fear filled her stomach. Looking down at the slice of cake, she suddenly didn't feel hungry anymore. He'd probably shout at her when they saw each other. He might go off in a bad mood, but she had decided to steel herself and bear it. She knew he cared, she _knew_ it. She'd have to be strong and tell him exactly how she felt. She'd tell him that it was no longer his responsibility and that he could come home, or by hook or by crook she'd make him! She'd tell him that he deserved a normal life and she'd tell him, most importantly, that she was in love…with him. Colette faltered at the end of the thought and sighed. Maybe she wasn't strong enough to do this. She'd just have to trust that the right words would come out, or she'd have to do the bravest thing she'd ever do; force herself against her will to tell him how she felt.

Packing away her remaining food, Colette stood and drew her wings out. She guessed that the wine town could only be a half-day's flight from where she was. What would have taken Lloyd a few months to travel by foot had taken her just a week or so to fly. She hoped she could catch up with him before he met Manfred. Maybe she could spare him some cuts and bruises and herself an unwelcome trip down memory lane.

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Lloyd Irving became aware of consciousness very slowly. First off all his hearing came back. It was a ringing drone at first; his brain not quite making sense of the noise. He moved his jaw slowly and moaned lowly at the stiffness and dull pain which accompanied the movement. Opening his eyes, he felt the motion stir more discomfort in his cheekbones and nose. He was blinded by the startling white light his eyes beheld. Blinking slowly a few times, his focus adjusted.

Ina sudden spark of intense pain, Lloyd became fully aware of himself. Every muscle in his body contracted in panic. Agony, white hot and burning erupted through his nerves. He cried out, but heard only a weak croak. The snow beneath him seared his skin with its unsympathetic chill, but he couldn't move. Lloyd's arms were bound behind him and he was wrapped in a cocoon of rope. Spitting congealed blood out, Lloyd was aware of laughter as it dribbled down his chin.

Glancing up, he found he could only open one eye properly. A gang stood watching him in a frightening number. Their faces were all contorted in the same expression: amusement. He could the anger like steam rushing to his head. He clenched his teeth despite the pain and heard a growl deep in his throat. How ridiculous he must look; trust up like an animal waiting to be slain. Well, he wouldn't go down without a fight.

Before he could act any further, the throng fell quiet. All eyes turned to a point at Lloyd's far left. He craned his neck to see what or who they were looking at, but found he was bound to tight. He ground his teeth in indignation and impatience at being at the mercy of a band of idiots. If Yggdrasil could see him now, he'd die of laughter, Lloyd thought. Suddenly, he was jerked up by his bindings. The pain in his body was overwhelming.

Opening his eyes weakly, Lloyd felt his blood run cold at the sight of Manfred's sadistic grin. The enormous man, held the young hero aloft, smiling calmly as he watched his victim dangle in pain.

"Hello Mr Irving." He said with a voice eerily low and quiet. "Hope we didn't wake you"

The gang chuckled and guffawed at their boss's joke. Lloyd snarled, tasting raw iron in his mouth.

"You know if you'd just cooperated we wouldn't have had to get rough with you" The man's deep bass voice was infuriatingly condescending.

Tossing Lloyd back onto the snow, he turned his back. The young swordsman grimaced in agony as the chill of the ice hitched his breath. Every part of his body ached and every nerve-ending screamed in protest at his bindings.

"Cut him loose" he heard Manfred order two men. Tucking back his head, Lloyd prepared to make a dash as soon as he was free. He couldn't take the whole gang on in this condition, especially without his swords. As the dagger of a skinny little gang-member, tore through the last fibre, Lloyd felt the tension give and ordered his muscles to make a burst of speed. The best he made was a quick stumble past the men. There was general cry of surprise from the rest of the gang, before Manfred's commanding voice stopped both their noise and Lloyd's movement.

"Oh I don't think you'll be getting very far without these!" Lloyd froze at the realisation of the situation. Manfred had his swords. Turning unwillingly, Lloyd watched as someone tossed Manfred the familiar matching scabbards. He ripped the swords ignorantly from the fine leatherwork and held both hilts in one massive hand. With a defiant twinkle in his eye, Manfred taunted the swordsman silently.

"You want these? You can come and get them" Clicking his fingers, Lloyd watched as a group of about twenty men massed around him. He was going to have to fight his way out.

Bare fist fighting had never been Lloyd's strong point, but desperate times called for desperate measures. If he could just get to those swords, Lloyd thought as the first man threw himself forward, he could get a chance to cut down the arrogant gang master. Dodging a swinging dagger, Lloyd felt his legs were less painful than his upper half. With a kick, he knocked one man into another and to the ground. If he could avoid using his arms for a little while, he might stand a chance, but he had to keep his wits about him.

Ducking and diving, Lloyd kept on the defensive, but used any opportunity to bring down as many of his opponents as possible. Catching one man by the leg, he body-checked him into two more, knocking them out instantly. A fist connected with Lloyd's kidneys and he could feel his back arching back with the impact. Enraged, he threw a wild punch connecting with a burly thief. His arm reverberated with the impact and sent shockwaves of pain up to his shoulder. Gasping in pain, Lloyd wondered in a panic how long he could stand up to this.

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Colette landed gratefully on the cobblestones of the little town of Sohm. It was early morning and the temptation of getting to her destination had kept Colette flying all night. A few people out of the street gasped to see the little angel descend. Colette was used to the staring, in fact she didn't mind it. Most people complimented her, or at least recognised by her wings that she was the Chosen. Not that she enjoyed such an accolade, but at least people were nice to her for the most part.

Glancing about the town, Colette couldn't fight the urge to find out where her friend was. Without hesitation she headed for the inn. A voice interrupted her walk.

"Wow, you're here!"

Colette looked up to see a familiar figure crossing the street. The sandy haired young man almost jogged over to her. "It's Colette, right?"

The little angel nodded briefly. "Yes, that's my name…" her memory returned at the sight of the young man's kind blue eyes. "We danced at the festival together, didn't we?"

The man smiled brightly, tugging his coat more firmly about himself. "That's right: Will. I'm flattered you remember me"

Colette smiled distractedly. It was nice to see the young man again, but she really was far more eager to see Lloyd.

"You look exhausted! Have you been walking all night?" he asked, enthusiastic not to let her walk off.

"Umm, yes I have—I really have to—"

The Chosen was cut short by the man as he stepped in front of her path. "Have you eaten anything?"

Colette stopped, and felt some mild irritation at the man's divertive behaviour. "Well, no—but I—"

Again she was cut off, as Will placed his hand on her shoulder. "Then come back with me to my parent's house. I'm going there now with some milk. My mother always makes too much broth"

Will's warm smile, firm but gentle grip on her shoulder and the protests of her stomach proved strong than Colette's resolve, and she gave in. With a smile, she walked with Will across the square to a small townhouse on the main street. Will travelled up the steps ahead of her, opening the door and showing her in. The house was cosy and neat with a few chairs by the fire and a kitchen just off the reception. A round sweet faced lady was serving soup into bowls on the table in front of a tall thin man with blonde hair. The man looked up from his newspaper.

"Morning mother, father. I hope you don't mind; I brought a guest." Will said, helping Colette off with her coat; knowing that his mother and father would have no objections.

"Oh no dear, there's always plenty at our table." The woman said, fetching another bowl. "Come, sit and have some broth with us."

Colette awkwardly sat at the empty seat beside the kindly strangers. The man regarded her with a warm smile and returned to reading his paper. In an instant, a plate of steaming soup was placed in front of the blonde girl and she was taken in by its delicious scent.

"Colette and I met at the summer festival." Will said, slurping at his soup, answering his mother's silent question.

"Oh I see" The elder woman said softly, sitting at her place. The room fell silent as everyone ate their broth.

"Colette: that's a very pretty name. What brings you back to Sohm at such a horrible time of year?" She asked smiling.

Colette cleared her throat quietly. "Thank you, I'm looking for someone."

Will looked up at her. She took another spoonful of soup.

"Is it your boyfrie—I mean, your friend: the tall guy you were with?" Will asked, forgetting his soup for a minute.

Colette nodded gently.

"I saw him" Will said, with excitement.

The young woman sat up straight. "You did? Where?"

Will squinted trying to remember. "The inn. He went in last night before dark. He should still be there."

Colette felt her heart pounding. That meant he was just across the street! Putting down her spoon, Colette all of a sudden felt very rude.

"Excuse me. Thank you very much for your kindness, but I really have to find my friend." She stood up and bowed slightly to the older woman, who watched her dumbfounded.

Will scrambled to his feet to help her with her coat. Travelling with her to the door, he stopped in the threshold.

"S-so I guess this is…goodbye?" he said quietly.

Colette stopped halfway down the steps and looked up at him with a sad frown. "Thank you Will. Thanks for being a friend" Running back up the stairs, she placed a soft kiss on Will's youthful cheek. He blushed brightly as he watched her disappear over the road to the old building.

Colette's breath was caught in her throat at the thought of finding Lloyd. Bursting through the glass doors, the little blonde surprised the hostess behind the desk.

Before she could even welcome her new customer, Colette spoke. "Excuse me; I need to know if Mr Lloyd Irving is staying here!"

The young woman looked startled. "Well, I'm not really supposed to—"

Colette cut her off. "Please, I really have to see him. It's quite urgent"

The receptionist looked a little doubtful, but opened her books anyway. Running her finger down the page, she read the bottom entry. "Room thirteen" When she looked up the young girl was already halfway up the stairs "Miss! Miss! You can't go up--!"

The Chosen couldn't even feel her feet touching the ground. It was a blur; she just couldn't wait to see him again. Look at his strong face and brown eyes. It was too much.

But before Colette could even steel herself for their encounter, she noticed something was not right. Approaching room thirteen, Colette frowned in concern. The door was open and a few pieces of ceramic were strewn in a powdered mess. Holding back for a minute, a feeling of dread passed through her body. Sticking her head into the semi-darkness of the room, she noted that the curtains had not been drawn. The bed sheets were twisted and pulled half off the bed itself. The nightstand was on its side and a broken bowl had been trampled into tiny pieces. Colette's hand flew to her mouth as she gasped. A small puddle of blood was clearly visible in the dull morning light. What had happened here?

Where was Lloyd?

AN: Ooooooh cliff-hanger! Ain't I a stinker?! Oh well you're going to have to wait till….hmmm…tomorrow to see what happens. Again I haven't had time to proof-read this chapter, so you'll have to trust me with this. Enjoy and don't be too harsh


	9. Chapter 9

AN: Okay thanks chaps, hope you enjoyed the last chapter. Can I again say that I have not had time to proof-read any of my stuff. Therefore if there are spelling mistakes or grammatical mistakes, please ignore them. I will go back and correct them at a later stage. I don't have a week or so to proof-read everything because I have other responsibilities. While I do appreciate having any aberrations pointed out to me, I had hoped people would take my limited time into consideration and perhaps be a little gentler when it comes to criticising technical elements of my writing. Also please allow for a little imagination as far as the fighting moves go. I did try to remain true to the original game, however things might be a little inaccurate…including the amount of TP needed to perform these moves, but I had to take artistic license.Thanks again and I REAALLLY hope you enjoy THIS chapter ::grins evilly:: Oh yeah! It's the one you've all been waiting for. Mwahahahaha!

Colette all but stumbled down the stairs. Shock blanching her features, the Chosen felt physically sick. Something very bad had happened in that room and she had no idea what. The sight of blood had completely shell-shocked her. This was the last thing she had expected to find. Reaching the reception desk, Colette again surprised the young woman.

"Please, something terrible's happened!" Colette wailed quietly, nearly grabbing the dark haired woman.

"I'm sorry? What do you mean?" It was obvious she found Colette's behaviour very disturbing.

"Please!" Colette pleaded, feeling completely useless. "The room! There's blood on the floor and Lloyd's gone!" Her knees felt like jelly and her stomach flipped in disgust at the horrific scenes flashing before her eyes.

The woman almost left her seat at Colette's words. "Blood?! Oh my goodness! Alvin! Alvin!" She called, thumping her palm against her bell. Looking back up at the young Chosen who seemed to grow paler by the minute, she spoke again. "I'm really very sorry…things like this don't happen here" With a frown she thumped her bell again and again.

An older man wearing overalls and wielding a mop appeared from a backroom. "Yeah, yeah. What is it?" He frowned deeply, regarding the receptionist with disdain. His expression dropped as soon as he caught sight of the blonde girl standing shaking at the counter. "H-hey, is she alright?"

"Go and call the sheriff! Something has happened upstairs and one of the guests is missing! But—keep it quiet, we don't want anyone to catch wind of this."

As soon as the old man left his mop and exited the inn, the brunette receptionist stood to comfort Colette. "We'll find him, don't worry"

"I-I'm just so afraid" Colette said more to herself than to the other woman.

Colette allowed herself to be guided to a small loveseat by the window. Sitting down, she felt completely lost. It didn't seem real. What could have happened to him? He wouldn't have left the room like that, never mind without checking out and paying for it. Why did he break the bowl? If he didn't, who did? Whose blood was on the ground? She felt the cold sweat run down her back at the thought that it might be Lloyd's blood. It wasn't worth contemplating. She realised she'd been gripping the edge of her coat tightly, and slowly let it go.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. She was supposed to surprise him and tell him exactly how she felt. Not this! Someone had taken him somewhere and against his will. The fact that none of the employees seemed to have any idea about it chilled her. How could they not have known that one of their guests had been abducted? Colette's heart pounded. Nothing made sense.

The entrance of a man drew Colette's eyes from the floor in front of her. She recognised the figure. The powdered wig and fine coat brought back a vague memory. The receptionist beside her let go of her arm to attend to the man. The young woman stepped behind the desk.

"Ah there you are!" He said arrogantly. "I need a suite ready, pronto. We have a very important and influential guest to entertain."

The young woman fumbled nervously through her book. "Y-yes sir, but we have a problem—"

She was cut short as the man slammed his hand down on the desktop. "No! No problems! Do you hear me? This man is on very important business and everything has to run smoothly!"

"But Mr Mayor! Room thirteen—"

Mayor? Suddenly Colette knew who the man was. She looked up at him with a small frown. Something wasn't quite right. It was rare for Colette to dislike anyone, but this man gave her a funny feeling.

At this he stopped and leaned close. "Room thirteen? Room thirteen? Clean up room thirteen without any questions and get the presidential suite ready!" Straightening up, he whispered lowly with his back still to Colette whom he hadn't noticed yet. "Manfred is going to be staying here tonight. I don't want any word of room thirteen spread about, you hear me? Do you want him to think we are some backwater little town? We can handle his business!"

Her jaw dropped as finally, the pieces of the puzzle began to fit. Manfred. Lloyd had come back to find him, but Manfred had found Lloyd first. Not only that, but the mayor was in on it. It all made sense.

Colette was hovering over the pompous man before she even realised it. The receptionist stared in horror at her multicolour shimmering wings. With a look of confusion, Garalas turned to find himself face to face with the ethereal angel.

"T-The Chosen!" He stammered, almost climbing backwards over the desk to escape from the awesome presence.

"Where is he?" Colette's voice had taken on an unearthly tone. Her wings burned bright with emotion and beat slowly causing the papers on the desk to flutter in all directions.

The mayor seemed both captivated and terrified by the otherworldly sight before him. His voice was small and breathy. "Manfred has him…"

"Where" Her voice was lower, more controlled this time. Beautiful locks of blonde hair gently swirled around her, glowing in the cast of her breathtaking wings.

"The clearing…west of here. Please…I-I didn't mean to—"

Closing her eyes, Colette ignored his pleas for forgiveness from the angel before him and allowed her form to drop to the floor. Forcing her wings back, Colette felt the tension drain from her. The room became still again as though a window had been closed. The receptionist and Garalas looked on in mute wonder at the small frame which had seemed to completely fill the room only a mere moment ago.

Calmer than she had been, Colette buttoned her coat and left the Hotel lobby silently. There had been a change in her. Something clicked. As though opening a door into her soul, she finally found she had the courage to do what needed to be done. There were no doubts; no second guesses. This was her moment.

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He was like a machine: a noisy, grunting, groaning, creaking machine. No matter how many threw themselves at him, he kept them back. Like a wild animal he lashed out viciously. The will to survive was stronger than their cruelty. Gang member after gang member struck out at him in waves, but with his life on the line, Lloyd Irving beat them back. He was as a man possessed; no longer thinking but only acting. Sweat, dirt and blood clung to his swarthy skin, but he didn't care. The thought of getting his swords back was all that mattered.

Lloyd had no idea how many men he had put beneath his feet, but for every one there seemed to be a legion more to replace him! His hands and legs were numb with pain. Pummelling his fist into the stomach of man, he kicked him off before tossing another over his shoulder. It finally looked as though he might be getting somewhere. He could see Manfred watching from afar, leaning on Lloyd's blades. The sight enraged the young man and he took it out on his adversaries.

As usual, when hope seemed to blossom within his heart, it was crushed by another. This time he really was crushed. A tremendous weight threw him to the slushy muck that had been created by dozens of footfalls. At once he could feel more and more weight piling onto his body; slowly pushing the air out of him. He grimaced and fought to push himself off the slippery ground. There was just enough room to breath.

"I'm…not…going to…fail!" He yelled, his muscles protesting fiercely as he levelled himself up against the overpowering weight. The determination pounded angrily against his temples, causing him to scream in rage. As soon as he could pull his legs out from underneath the weight, Lloyd staggered to his feet. Every tendon, muscle—vein seemed to pulse out under his skin. Lloyd's complexion was red beneath the muck and grime.

Readying himself to finish off the last bunch of uneasy looking bandits, the renown Red Swordsman was caught off-balance by the sound of Manfred's voice.

"Alright boys, that's enough!"

Lloyd whirled around to face the massive bulk; his teeth clenched and his blood pounding deafeningly in his ears. His body ached in a way he had never known. The tension of hatred kept him upright but shuddered through his body like electricity. The greatest indignation; greater than being hauled from his bed, manhandled and made to fight impossibly unfair odds, was the sight of Manfred with _his_ swords. Those swords were his allies. They kept him north of the life-death divide. He placed all his faith and strength in them. To see them held like trophies in the hands of his enemy was the most humiliating and enraging thing he had ever suffered.

Manfred straightened up and rolled his massive shoulder in its socket. With a low rumbling chuckle, he dropped the swords point down into the snow. "I think that's enough" he said quietly. "It's getting a little boring just watching the action now." Looking up, he smiled sadistically at the chestnut haired boy. "Besides, you've proved you're a hard-ass. It's going to be even more enjoyable taking you down."

The huge man stepped over the bodies of his groaning men who had fallen to Lloyd's fists. Lloyd felt himself tense. Manfred was not finished with his fun.

Cracking each of his knuckle-joints, Manfred gazed at Lloyd, chuckling beneath his breath. "You know it's just a pity you don't have your pretty little girlfriend with you. She'd have been a different kind of entertainment, eh boys?"

There was a less enthusiastic mumble from the ranks which were left, nursing bruises and injuries.

"Well?" The gang leader taunted, "Aren't you going to take those beautiful blades of yours? I want this to be a proper fight. I want to take down the Hero of the Two Worlds in his own element." Crouching low, Manfred tensed into a fighting stance. "Then I want your exspheres"

Lloyd was unimpressed by the large man's taunts and jeers. Doing his best not to limp, Lloyd warily retrieved his blades. Feeling the soft clean leather of the hilt in his hands, he instantly felt rejuvenated. Their weight was uncomfortable on his over-exerted muscles, but it was familiar and it bolstered his confidence.

"You know Manfred" Lloyd's voice was raw and uneven. "I've fought teenagers with more power in their little finger than you!"

A wry smile twisted the man's lips. "Well won't that be something to put on my resume when I beat you into the ground."

With a cry of power, Manfred charged towards his opponent. Lloyd was in his element now. Manfred might be large and powerful, but Lloyd was nimble and swift. He just needed an opening; near the jugular or behind the man's neck and he'd have him beat. But he had underestimated Manfred's speed. As soon as Lloyd had evaded the ground-thumping charge, he found himself narrowly missing a shot to the head. He had to make some space quickly.

"Supersonic Thrust!" Lloyd thrust his sword forward creating a gust that tipped Manfred back onto one foot. It gave the swordsman just enough time to back-flip away and prepare another move.

"Sword Rain!" This time, Manfred was ready for the technique and guessed what form it would take. Allowing his bulk to move with Lloyd's jabs, he managed to avoid the blade's sharp edge. As Lloyd exposed his torso with the uppercut, Manfred threw his enormous shoulder against Lloyd's ribs, tackling him to the ground. Lloyd felt all the air leave his lungs and he coughed viciously to breathe. With a slam, he encountered the hard earth. Grabbing the waistband of Lloyd's trousers, Manfred held him high, before pelting him back into the ground. Lloyd rolled out of the impact, limping severely. He prayed that nothing had happened to his organs. He couldn't feel anything but the adrenaline coursing through his veins.

A "Rising Falcon" was out of the question, he reasoned; desperately trying to come up with his next move. He didn't know to what extent he was injured, but he knew he didn't have the stamina left for that move. It was becoming desperate and unless he pulled something out of the bag, Manfred was ready to best him in this fight.

"Grave Blade!" Lloyd cried, heaving his swords with all his might into the ground. A fissure tore the ground open and knocked Manfred over before he could react. Lloyd knew he had to make the most of this before Manfred recovered.

He summoned up what he knew could be the last of his TP and focused it into a powerful scream "HUNTING BEAST!" A wave sent Lloyd hurtling through the air. Focusing his blades at the ground, Lloyd roared as they dug deep into the frozen earth and sent visible shockwaves through the ground all around him. Several gang members were knocked over and more still were thrown into the air. Manfred's limp form bounced high before crashing down with a sickening thud.

Lloyd took the opportunity to catch a breath. He thought for sure it was over. His TP was exhausted and he could feel his stamina waning.

With eyes wide in horror, Lloyd watched as Manfred's terrifying bulk stirred and sat up. He knew from experience that the look on his face was more volatile than nitro. The massive man stumbled to his feet with a tremendous roar. Snorting back blood and snot, Manfred fixed his gaze on the dumbfounded swordsman. With a deafening scream he charged again, catching Lloyd around the middle and driving him once again into the solid earth. Lloyd almost blacked out with the pain. He couldn't begin to imagine what that had done to his bones and organs. Colours lit up before his hazy vision. Manfred tumbled off him and to his feet. Wiping blood from his gaping mouth, he looked surprised to see Lloyd roll painful on his stomach and crawl to his knees.

The warrior reached out feebly for one of his blades still wedged into the ground where his "Hunting Beast" had landed. Manfred kicked the boy away with a grunt. Coughing up blood, Lloyd took a moment to gather his energy before picking himself up to his knees and all but crawling back through the slush to the sword. Manfred placed a heavy boot on Lloyd's chest and pushed him back, but the young man tensed, sending Manfred off balance. Lloyd grabbed the hilt of the sword and heaved with all his might. His energy was drained and he couldn't even budge the blade from the stone-like earth.

The enormous shadow loomed over Lloyd and he found himself looking up at his end. He was down and out. He didn't have the strength to get up, never mind win against this man. Manfred took no prisoners, and the look on his blood-spattered face was enough to drain all the enraged colour from Lloyd's face.

"No! Stop!"

The words cut through the air and drew both men's gaze to the edge of the clearing. The remaining gang members too looked to see whose voice had dared interrupt the one-on-one fight.

Lloyd's blood ran cold at the sight of her. It was Colette. Like a vision from his dreams about to be devoured by his nightmares, she stood so pure and beautiful against the brutal agony of the bloodied clearing. Her indigo and pink wings held her a mere foot from the ground, but she seemed to tower over everything and fill the whole clearing with light. It surely couldn't be the same woman he had left in Iselia, could it? A strangled cry escaped Lloyd's throat. He felt Manfred's frame reverberate with laughter. It became audible as a low rumbling and then a gravely guffaw.

"The pretty little Chosen!" He exclaimed in delight. Pulling Lloyd up by his neck, he turned his rancid breath on the young man. "This is too good! Two for the price of one! You shouldn't have!"

Colette couldn't stand the sight of it. For all her new found strength; she couldn't look at the state of Lloyd. His face was barely distinguishable through the muck, blood and bruises. One eye was bloodied and swollen. His hairline was matted in dried blood and his body was a mess of mud. It broke her heart to see him suspended by his throat, fighting for air. This wasn't the Lloyd Irving who defeated Yggdrasil. She'd do anything to get him back.

Her name: he was speaking her name. Hoarse and breathlessly; she could hear it. "Co…Cog…Colette…go…run…a—away!"

If the tears on her eyelashes had been a sign of weakness, she proved that assumption incorrect. She was crying for the missed opportunity. However she hoped that what she did next would tell Lloyd how she felt more clearly than her words ever could have.

Dipping her head, her blue eyes were hidden by smooth locks of gold. Under her breath she mumbled a rarely used chant, her wings glowing brighter at the recitation of it. Manfred let his tight grip on Lloyd slacken, enough for the boy to fall to the ground. He stared uneasily at the girl. Motioning to two of his henchmen; he wanted her restrained.

Before the men could get anywhere near her, her head snapped up. Her body seemed to be engulfed by the sheer brilliance of her shimmering wings. It blinded the two men as they fought to shield their eyes from the sight.

"SACRIFICE!"

Colette's words cut through Lloyd like steel. He felt as though all his blood had dissolved. A rush of air seemed to crash through him and he instantly felt his pain eased and his energy and spirit revived. There was something else too. Like a veil of warmth over his entire body; beneath his clothes and hair, he felt her presence. With the force of sigh, the feeling swam over his skin and then just as quickly dissipated. His breath hitched high in his throat in a mixture of relief, rapture and grief. He released the breath in a sob.

Lloyd's eyes opened and he saw before him the unmoving corpse of Manfred. Steam rose from his giant barrel chest. His eyes were frozen wide open in horror. Around him the bodies of his men lay like dominoes; toppled, haphazard over one another. As Lloyd's eyes took in the devastation before him, he found what he had been searching for.

Stumbling to his feet, Lloyd felt like a man entranced as he tripped over corpses and slid in half melted snow until he reached her. She had fallen to the side, her wings now gone. Her skin was grey and lacked that special glow that characterised her. Her hair was a like a divine wave of gold against the white snow beneath her. It looked as though she were asleep: her eyes were closed so peacefully.

Lloyd suddenly snapped to his senses and with a cry, bundled her up in his arms. Clutching her unmoving, limp body to his, he ran. He ran blind, like a mad man possessed. He roared with grief and panic; completely lost at the very idea that she might be gone. He couldn't feel his feet moving, nor see the trees as he shot past them back towards the village. His raving howls echoed off the buildings as he all but threw himself into the village. Stumbling on the cobbles, he felt the borrowed strength Colette had given him give out.

The town's people amassed at the sudden disruption to their everyday life. A middle-aged woman fought Lloyd to remove his grasp on the blonde angel. Another tried to distract him, by placing her shawl around his shoulders. He was uncontrollable. He lashed out at anyone trying to touch Colette's still lifeless form. Only the mention of a life-bottle drew his attention away. The warm featured woman he had been rough with held his face between her palms and spoke gently to him. He couldn't hear a word she said but it calmed him enough to let someone take Colette from his grasp. He couldn't see her and felt completely lost, sitting on the wet cold cobbles of a strange town; utterly alone.

AN: You know, that was the most difficult chapter to write!! It probably sounds really stilted. I'm sorry but I got so caught up in the emotion I couldn't express it properly ;;. I actually meant to write more than that and be less brutal, but it kept getting more and more violent and tragic. This isn't the end and tomorrow I promise I will have the second last chapter. Oooh isn't it exciting??? Thanks again for you comments and critiques and I hope you'll continue to let me know what you think all the way to the end. Thanks


	10. Chapter 10

AN: Thanks everyone for your lovely responses! I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter as much as you did, I was really worried about it though. I hope you enjoy this one more :: grins even more evilly than last time:: mwahahaha! I'm sorry there has been a little gap with this chapter but I had some technical difficulties with it and so it required more time to complete. Can I take this opportunity to comment that this fanfic is not going to be a lemon…it might be a little citrus-y but there will be no explicit sex, so if that's what you are waiting for, I'm sorry to break it to you, but there's not going to be any sex!! Anyway with that out the way, let's continue…

It had been three days; three long, tense days. Three days since Lloyd had stumbled half crazed into the village with his best friend's prostate form in his arms. Three days since she had been given a life-bottle and three days for him to calm down. What sight he must have been to those kind but complete strangers. Dirty and bloodied he was like something out of a horror story; ranting and thrashing about like an animal. An old woman had taken into her house. There he had been given a good meal and bathed. Despite his generous treatment, Lloyd had protested all the way, desperate to see Colette to find out what had happened to her. She had been taken to the Doctor's house to recover with the life-bottle.

The old woman had supplied him with gels to heal his mashed organs, broken bones and lacerations. She wasn't Raine, but she did a good job. The only sign of injury now was his right arm in a sling, which was taking slightly longer to heal and dark bruising around his left eye. He knew he was fortunate to be alive. All thanks to Colette.

Sitting by her bedside, Lloyd still couldn't believe what she had done. It wasn't as though she had never cast that spell before. No, they had used it many times during battle, but never without a healer in their party and without meticulous planning. It was a calculated risk that Raine had kept control of. She was the Chosen for goodness sake; they couldn't lose her. But on that field, as Manfred literally held Lloyd's life in his hands, they both knew that risk was not an element. He remembered the look of quiet purpose she wore and felt his stomach churn. She had fully expected to die. She really did plan to sacrifice her life for his.

Lloyd was stirred from his thoughts as the Doctor entered the room. The grey haired old man cast a gentle glance over his patient. "Hello Mr Irving" Glancing at his watch, the Doctor took Lloyd's left wrist in his hand. Measuring the pulse he frowned gently. "Your pulse still hasn't slowed to normal. Do you remember what I said about relaxing?"

Lloyd hated going to see the Doctor. It was always one thing or another. "Yes Doctor, but how _can_ I relax? She hasn't woken up yet!" Lloyd said, letting his gaze fall on the bed, he felt his heart dropping low in his chest. She was here because of him. When he had staggered into town and caused a huge commotion Lloyd had disturbed the local shop owner who had come out to see what all the ruckus was. He had dived back into the shop and carried out a dusty life-bottle. Someone had administered it to her straight away before Lloyd had been huckled into the old woman's house.

The Doctor had then kept her under supervision; applying his healing arts where and when necessary. As the Doctor looked him over now, Lloyd stared at the little angel beneath the covers of the bed. Her skin was no longer the sickly dead looking grey it had been, but glowed as normal. Swallowing hard, he remembered with painful clarity the feeling of utter helplessness and terror which had caught a hold of him. He would have clawed the sky down to turn time back. Now as she lay there as though only sleeping, he felt the heavy dread creep on him. With everyday she slumbered, her chances of waking up dropped dramatically. The Doctor had said it could be any day, or she might never open her eyes again. Lloyd prayed so hard.

For the last three days, he had knelt beside her bed, clutching her small hand tightly in his, kissing it and letting his warm tears bathe it, and prayed. He prayed and prayed and despaired. He didn't know what to pray to. Everything he had ever been taught had been a lie. He knew though, that there had to be something good out there looking after them. To it alone he prayed to save Colette just as she had saved Sylvarant and Tethe'alla. She didn't deserve this after everything they had been through; everything she had been through.

Could fate be so cruel? She was free! She had been freed from a tragic future by uncovering the sham it really was. Life had been given to her and she lived every moment of it as though it might end any second. Colette took nothing for granted and gave more than she was ever given. Why did this have to happen? The answer was obvious: because of him. Feeling despair welling up hot and agonising inside him, Lloyd half-listened to the Doctor. With a smile the grey haired physician left the room and the two young people in silence.

Lloyd didn't know if it would have been better if he had never chased after Colette and her party on that fateful day over five years ago. She would have gone off and solved the problem herself without the complications Lloyd's relationship with Yggdrasil and Kratos. No: he realised that he was the only one in the party brave enough to have stepped in and saved Colette back then. She would be dead now and the united worlds would still be apart, feeding off one another. But maybe that's where it should have ended. He should have done this himself.

Glancing out the large bay window at the falling snow, Lloyd knew it was all pointless now. There was no point in wondering over what could or should have been. He had to deal with the possibility that she might never be anything again. The thought was terrifying but all too possible. What would he ever do without her? Even being apart for only three months had brought him to his knees; literally. How could he possibly live without her now?

Taking her limp hand from the bedcovers, Lloyd pressed it to his lips and prayed that he wouldn't have to. Opening his eyes, his breath caught in his windpipe. Had her hand twitched just now, or was it his imagination? Staring down wide-eyed at her face, he studied it for any change. Her brow creased very gently and Lloyd felt like hitting the roof! With some effort her eyes slowly opened; adjusting to the dim evening light of the room. The young man gazed open-mouthed, totally enraptured by the tiniest movement. He felt his skin tingling in excitement as her gaze took in her surroundings slowly.

Finally she looked up at him with uncertain eyes. In a heartbeat her expression relaxed and her eyes glistened with joy. She was more beautiful now than ever before.

"Hi Lloyd" She said quietly and a little hoarsely.

Lloyd swallowed the lump of emotion tightening his throat. He was still clutching her hand in his, but he wanted to wrap her up in his arms and never let anything touch her again. Despite the overwhelming joy he felt, he couldn't help the frown that creased is features. "Colette, why did you do that? You almost died!" His voice was strangled and tight with sorrow.

Colette looked at his hand curled around hers and felt her eyes well up with moisture. "I…" Her voice was little more than a hoarse croak. "I knew you were in trouble, and I thought Manfred was going to kill you. I—I didn't know what else to do" She knew that was only half the truth. She had been more than prepared to die for Lloyd. The fact that she was able to lie and speak to him now was more than she could ever ask for. Even the look of fierce anguish and heavy emotion on his tired face was worth it to see him breathing.

"Colette I—I…" Lloyd was overcome. He hadn't meant for his first words to her to be berating. How could he tell her how relieved he was? How lost he had been without her? How much he had prayed for her? "Colette, this is why I left you in Iselia. Don't you see?"

The anguish in his voice hurt her deeply, but she only smiled gently. "I know"

"Didn't Dirk give you my letter?" he asked his tone a little softer this time. He placed her hand back on the bed, just now aware he had been almost crushing it in his grip.

Colette sighed quietly; although she had slept for three days, she hadn't regained her full strength. "No, not at first" She looked away sheepishly. "I thought you hated me, so I went to give Dirk back all the things that reminded me of you; I couldn't bear to see them any more"

It was Lloyd's turn to look away; this time with a red hot blush on his cheeks. He felt so ashamed of himself.

They both fell silent for a moment. Lloyd couldn't find the words as usual.

It was Colette who was first to break the quiet. "I couldn't just let you go on your own"

Lloyd looked up at her desperately. "But that's why I wrote the letter Colette! I—I had to make sure you understood why I left. I wanted you to stay."

Surprising the young man, Colette giggled. "I wouldn't have stayed if I knew you still cared about me" Lloyd blushed at the revelation.

The Chosen frowned as she tried to push herself up against her pillows. Lloyd left his seat to help her sit straight. Taking one hand and placing the other round her back, he felt the heat of her flesh and almost recoiled in shock. She suddenly felt so real and so alive; it was terrifying. Colette noticed his reaction and blushed. Pulling back the covers, she gingerly placed her legs over the side of the bed. Swallowing his reaction, Lloyd helped her stand and noticed right away that she was easier on her feet than he had expected her to be: it looked like she'd made a full recovery.

He followed closely behind her as she shuffled over to the window. She was dressed in a white gown that made her look even more angelic. Leaning against the window-ledge, the Chosen stared out at the slowly drifting snow and smiled. She didn't think she'd ever see the snow again. It had been the last thing she had seen before she had blacked out. She suddenly felt Lloyd's presence behind her and she was brought out of her reverie.

"Colette," He spoke finally, drawing her attention to him. Those wide blue eyes watched him with open honesty. "Why did you use "sacrifice"?" He asked. His eyes were so full of emotion shining in the reflected light of the perfect snow outside.

Looking away from his deep brown eyes, she stared at her hands absently. "Well…I thought you were going to die, so I—"

Lloyd cut her off "-But it would have killed you! We don't have a healer!"

"I know" She said, feeling the blood rushing to her cheeks again as his handsome brown eyes waited for her words. "But it…" She remembered how she felt marching through the snow to find Lloyd; so full of courage and strength. She borrowed some of that feeling back and looked up at him with all the bravery she could muster.

Lloyd marvelled at the rosy blush on her pale skin and nervousness dancing in his bright eyes; so alive. Alive: it amazed him!

"…it didn't matter. I wanted to save you Lloyd, like you always save me..." The blush felt like it had turned her whole face beetroot and was quickly spreading down her neck. "But I—"

The young man felt his heart skip a beat. He couldn't hold her open gaze any longer, but he couldn't look away either. As the heat rose to his face as his eyes danced all over her face. He fumbled for words. "W-well you could show me, like we used to" he said, trying to sound as casual as possible. He offered his outstretched palm. "Just pretend we're in Flanoir."

Colette glanced out at the window. With the snow falling down quietly and softly, it could be Flanoir.

One part of Lloyd screamed to leave it alone; to ignore what she had perhaps, maybe, hinted at. The other part of him waited with baited breath for her next words; hanging and holding to let her say the words that that part wanted to hear.

Looking at his smooth, warm hand, the Chosen considered writing with her finger, but felt her strength give out at the sheer embarrassment of it. What could she do? Colette felt her courage waning and desperately tried to grab hold of it. Scrambling for Lloyd's hand, she took a deep breath and kissed his open palm.

A tense moment grew and grew between the two. Colette still held his hand tightly, but was at a loss as to what to do next. Lloyd stared dumbfounded and shocked for an instant. It was so awkward; so unbelievably difficult.

Colette just wanted to run away, but knew she couldn't. There was nowhere to go. "I'm-sorry-I-just-wanted-to-show-you-that-I-care-about-you-so-much-I-mean-as-a-friend-well-more-than-a-friend-I…" Colette trailed off miserably.

Lloyd was trapped. She still held his hand in both of hers, and he knew how fragile she must feel. He couldn't just pull it back like his head screamed at him to.

Colette took another deep breath and slowly explained herself. "I…I came back to bring you home." She looked up at him, the remainder of the blush still burning furiously on her face. She slowly let go of his hand, feeling as though she had missed her chance. "It's time to stop this"

He was still at a loss for words. If he'd been more a man he'd have responded to that perfect moment she'd created. Now he fought to keep focused on what she said, and not let the emotion carry him away. It was all going too fast for him! "B-but Colette, I can't go home yet. Don't you see?" he turned his head away, frowning painfully. This had changed nothing. With a sigh, he leaned his head against the frosted glass.

"There's so much still to do; so many exspheres out there to find. It's my responsibility." There was a heavy feeling of dread. How could he explain to Colette? She had already given her life to stop him. He was torn between the life she had given for him and the debt he felt he owed the world.

"Look Colette, you-you should go back to Iselia; you'll have a happy life there. You deserve a normal life and to settle down and get married" Even as he said the words, he felt them cut him open like blades. He wanted that with her so much. He knew it was selfish, but he couldn't bear to think of Colette in another man's arms; no matter how good and deserving he might be.

Colette stared up at his tortured face. Didn't he understand? Before she could even contemplate what she was saying, the words broke forth; impassioned and full of energy. "Lloyd, it's not your responsibility!"

He stared at her startled again.

"You've done so much Lloyd, it's time for you to stop now! You could do this for a million years and never find every exsphere!" Her eyes were alive, fierce but pleading; imploring him to understand. Her complexion was still crimson, but with determination, rather than embarrassment. She had never been so firm and resolute with him before. He was utterly captivated finding nothing strong enough to counter her argument. She paused for a deep breath. Her eyes searched his and her tone became softer.

"Who said it was your job anyway? Who said you had to do it?" He couldn't fight her. She was right. He had brought it all on himself.

"Who said _we_ had to do it? Who said we couldn't have a normal life, we couldn't settle down and get marr—"

Colette stopped herself before she could finish the thought. Her blue eyes grew wide at the realisation of what she almost said. Lloyd's reaction surprised her too. He was mildly taken aback, but his eyes were full of something new; something she hadn't ever seen. They were intense and focused on her; almost as they had that night in Sohm.

"Th-that is—I mean—well, that we—I mean…" Her excuses ran dry as Lloyd continued to gaze at her.

He was breathless as his heart pounded fiercely in his ears. He couldn't take his eyes off her beautifully flushed face, her lively blue eyes; her perfect full lips. It clicked. Everything finally fit. She was right. He had given this duty to himself. It had taken her sacrificing her life to make him realise. He could spend his life chasing an objective that was impossible; ignoring the thing that he wanted most in his life. He had earned the right through battle after fearsome battle to retire; to let someone else save the day.

Colette's voice was barely above a whisper as she recognised what it was that was making Lloyd gaze at her so. "You're not responsible"

Stepping closer, Lloyd left all logical thought behind and found his moment. She was waiting for him, as she had always been. Everything she had done was for him. She had come with him because she felt the same way he did. She had endured all the fighting and the injuries just to be near him…just for this moment. It seemed the most natural thing in the world to put his arms around her. Enveloping her in a hug, he thanked whoever or whatever it was that had answered his prayers.

Colette melted against his frame, feeling her heart pound as she took in his heat and his scent. It was a heady mixture and she felt herself delightfully light-headed. She felt his arms holding her securely and wished secretly to stay there forever. Lloyd breathed her in and realised for the first time in his life that he belonged. The guilt of his mother, the debt for his father, the disgust at his own failings; they didn't control him anymore. If he'd been unsure about the hand fate had dealt both he and Colette, now he was sure; this was his place.

Lloyd began to draw back, aware that he had been holding her for a long time. He stopped; their faces were so close. They weren't quite touching but her eyes so near and her breath so soft and warm against his cheek heightened his senses. Colette froze; so close. Her lips were mere inches from his, slightly parted in anticipation. Colette was unable to breathe as his gaze focused on her mouth. Lloyd was teetering on the edge, but her gaze; wide and full of barely contained emotion, begged him to fall. Eyes sliding close, Lloyd finally bridged the ever-decreasing divide.

Heart slamming in his chest, he felt his sense completely overwhelmed. Defences broken down, Lloyd's lips gently caressed Colette; indulging in the soft, smooth untouched paradise of her kiss. Colette felt her skin alive, as the moment she had agonised could only ever be a dream took hold of and claimed her. His gentle taste and perfectly warm lips caused her blood to burn in her veins. Lloyd's tender embrace moved her and she could feel the tears trace warm comforting trails down her face.

They parted slowly, but not awkwardly. Lloyd's eyes opened slowly, unwilling to break this beautiful spell over him. He gazed down; eyes half-lidded and breathless into the face of a heavenly angel. Colette's cheeks burned hot and she immediately felt the loss. She couldn't speak. There were no words. They didn't need them. All their lives they had protected their hearts with words that had no meaning.

Lloyd's fevered brow broke gently in concern. His thumb tenderly traced the streaks of her tears. "Colette?" He asked, gently.

The blonde angel pressed his larger hand against her cheek and let her eyes close. A radiant smile filled her face. His frown melted as he gradually understood. He felt a lump in his throat: tears of happiness.

With moist eyes she gazed back up into his flushed, gentle face. Drawing her near as he cupped her face, he paused, searching those painfully beautiful eyes one last time.

Lloyd's voice was nothing but a gruff whisper. "I-Is this what you want?"

His Colette; his Chosen, closed her eyes and nodded slowly, a warm smile lighting her features in heart-aching certainty.

An addiction had been born in him, and as his lips met hers for only the second time, the thought of a life without knowing the utter bliss of her kiss was inconceivable. Colette allowed her hands to smooth over his firm chest and rest so naturally.

They were as a painter's composition framed so perfectly in the window of softly falling snow; a pose echoing their difficult past and heralding a welcome future. A future free not from danger, hardship and grief, but made worth the struggle; together.

AN: WOW EH??? Was it what you were expecting? I'm not 100 sure about the ending, but I'm willing to live with it. There's still one chapter to go, so don't give up yet Hope you enjoy it.


	11. Chapter 11

AN: Okay last chapter wooo hooo! I'm really sad to finishing this story but I'm happy to have it completely too Can I take this opportunity to thank everybody who commented and to those of you who may not have reviewed but followed along anyway. It was the fact that people wanted to read more that kept me writing. I really appreciate it. I'll miss you all

One last thing, this chapter mirroring the first, requires a mature warning. There will be a scene of Lloyd and Colette's wedding night. This is not a lemon, however it implicitly speaks of sex and I wouldn't want anyone to be offended without fair warning. However I suppose if you read this knowing that it's an "M" you probably thought you were going to read a lemon anyway lol. For those who are disappointed that it won't be explicit enough, I'm sorry and I hope you don't feel duped into reading a fanfic thinking that it was something that it's not. I did leave plenty of warnings scattered throughout the text explaining this fact. I hope you'll enjoy it for what it is. Thanks again.

**Epilogue**

After last night's revelation Lloyd and Colette woke with a renewed vigour. Thanking those who had helped them, the pair went in search of any stragglers who had survived the fight with Manfred. One gang member had holed up in the pigpen of a local farm. Seeing Lloyd, clean, healed and stern, he told them exactly where to find Manfred's stash of exspheres. Lloyd destroyed the numerous exspheres found in the gang's hideout in Caifa. Like a weight lifted from both their shoulders, they had smiled at one another; Lloyd taking his girlfriend's hand.

It took around two months to return to Iselia; their progress faster with the high spirits they shared. They camped together; lying in each others arms and learning more about each other's taste, scent and feel. The whole world looked different to Colette's eyes. Even the snow, pure and white as it lay on almost every surface seemed brighter and if possible whiter. Her heart pounded ecstatically in her chest when he reached for her hand, or shielded her against the elements. Lloyd couldn't get enough of Colette's kisses. He stole her lips whenever he could; indulging in the pleasant light-headed feeling and hot blush each and every time. She smiled at him from lowered lashes. She was gentle and timid, but deliciously compliant. For her part, she loved when leant down towards her, tilting her face to reach his, caressing her with love. She felt like a fairytale princess found her prince. Was love always this good?

When they finally reached Iselia, they travelled down the path of Dirk's house. The little dwarf appeared at the door; his face a mask of startled shock. Lloyd reached down and hugged his surrogate father who was only able to stutter his name in surprise. Colette smiled when she saw the little tear caught in the side of the rough mannered dwarf's eye. His son had come home. Before they unpacked, Colette was desperate to see her Grandmother and her father. They too had been surprised to see her. Phaidra's old eyes lit in knowing happiness to see the young pair's hands entwined. She was proud of her granddaughter's courage and determination.

A few days later, Lloyd came to Colette's door and asked for her help. Taking her to his mother's grave, he revealed his intentions: he wanted to finally let his mother rest. Colette felt a hard lump in her throat. She nodded painfully. He had told her before that if he ever did finish his quest, his last job would be to destroy his mother's exsphere. She of all people deserved to be free. This was a big step to Lloyd. This was losing a great deal of his prowess as a warrior; it was giving up his task. Dirk came out and joined them as they stood before the simple stone. He helped Lloyd dust off the snow which adorned but obscured the grave. The air was so still and quiet in the little garden. Colette stepped back and stood with Dirk. She would have like to have had fresh flowers to lay at the grave, but only had dried ornamental ones. She decided that Lloyd's mother wouldn't mind; they were just as pretty. Lloyd removed his key crest and exsphere together; grimacing slightly at the discomfort. Placing the small marble like object on the granite slab before the gravestone, he bent down and sat on his knees.

"Mom…" he said quietly at long last. "I'm sorry I haven't been back here for a long time. Thanks for being with me all this time" he paused and smiled gently. His mother had always been close. Rubbing gently at the empty space on the back of his hand, Lloyd felt completely lost. The soft pressure of his true love's hand on his shoulder gave him the reassurance he needed. "I guess it's time for you to finally rest…I love you Mom"

Lost for words; a knot of emotion constricting his words, he could only watch as Colette knelt beside him and bowed her head in prayer. She reached for his hand and clasped it tight in hers. Lloyd gasped slightly when he felt someone take his other hand. Dirk knelt on his right clutching his free hand. The young man felt a heart-felt smile touch his lips.

Colette spoke quietly, wishing Anna peace and contentment and hoped they would all see each other someday. She promised in a small soft voice, to look after Anna's son and love him with all her heart. She gave his hand an extra tight squeeze and Lloyd could feel the tears coursing down his cheeks. It took a few moments for him to compose himself and when he did, he rose to his feet. Drawing a small, simple, but carefully crafted dagger from his belt, Lloyd stared at its shiny blade and tightly bound leather hilt. He and Dirk had spent the whole previous day crafting it, especially for this purpose.

Raising the dagger high above his head, he let out a strangled sob as he brought the sharp edge down on the exsphere and watched as it exploded into dust. Lloyd breathed heavily, watching solemnly as a red tinged light rose faintly from the small pile. His pulse pounding, he could have sworn he heard his name; whispered so tenderly. His eyes widened in realisation, but the evanescence was gone. He knew in his heart however that he had heard his mother's voice and finally felt a sense of completion. He hadn't failed her.

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The winter came and went, leaving welcome spring in its place. With its freshness, Lloyd decided it was time to think about the future. It wasn't as romantic as he planned, but when he asked she said yes. That was good enough for him. It was almost as if the words were excessive; as though it didn't have to be asked or answered. Dirk and Lloyd started straight away on building the engaged couple a house slightly further down the forest trail. He worked night and day: insane hours! It was light unburdened work and Lloyd fell asleep each night on his bed, exhausted but with a clean soul. His enthusiasm carried the work through quickly, and he found himself adding the finishing touches long before plan.

They sent invites to their friends and were delighted the week before the wedding to find the six companions arriving almost one after the other. It had been almost two years since they had last been together without one member missing. Everyone had been overjoyed at the news; Genis punching Lloyd in the arm and exclaiming it was about time. The week was a whirlwind for the little Chosen who found herself surrounded by flowers, presents and cards, wedding dresses and smiles. It truly was the best time of her life and the sun never seemed to stop shining.

Before she had time to register it, Colette found herself walking down the small humble aisle, her eyes trained on the tall man, clad in red. Her hair sat in beautiful long waves, adorned with a simple veil. Her dress was the softest white satin she had ever felt; a flowing gown held together in a most dazzling gold brooch. Lloyd looked completely breathless and he all but shouted "I do!" when asked. Colette giggled but stared up adoringly into the eyes of the man she wanted to share her life with. Lloyd gazed at the miracle before him and wanted nothing more than to swallow her whole where she stood.

The reception was the first real chance they had had to celebrate. They both cut loose and enjoyed the company of their friends and family. It was wonderful to have everyone in the same place and Colette even noticed though distracted by her own happiness, the joy her friends seemed to genuinely feel for the young couple. Zelos pulled Lloyd aside at the buffet. Taking a sip from his glass he smiled lewdly at the blushing swordsman.

"Hey Lloyd. Looking forward to tonight my man?"

Lloyd swallowed hard and nodded honestly.

"Mmmm" Zelos glanced over at Colette as she laughed and talked to Sheena and Raine. "She looks good enough to eat! You're a lucky man, my clueless compadre"

Lloyd frowned deeply with a blush as Zelos spoke about his wife in such a way!

"She looks innocent, but I'll betcha she's a little firecracker in bed!"

The swordsman had had enough. "Zelos, will you shut up! Colette's my bride!"

Zelos gave Lloyd a long look. "Hey, I'm just trying to give you an idea of what you're in for my friend. Enjoy her!"

At that Regal's large hand descended on Zelos' shoulder, causing the shorter man to look up in fright. "Zelos, I don't think that's any way to talk! Lloyd, please ignore Zelos. Although I must agree with him"

Lloyd shot the Duke a shocked glance.

Regal smiled "She looks beautiful." Lloyd's expression relaxed into an almost bashful smile. "You're a very lucky man, my friend"

Staring out through the dancing guests, Lloyd watched his new bride smile; her face full of pure joy and found he couldn't argue. He was the luckiest man alive!

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At the end of the night, Lloyd gently took Colette's hand and in his eyes she saw something that excited her. He was telling her it was time to go. Thanking the guests and saying their goodnight, Mr and Mrs Irving walked hand in hand through the dark, quiet village. The houses were deserted as the whole town was still revelling in their honour. Lloyd glanced down at his small wife and smiled. What lay ahead excited him and terrified him at the same time; he could feel his body reacting already. This was the moment he had dreamt guiltily about for years. Yet he wondered how Colette felt. His fantasies had always relied upon her want, need and lust for him. He wouldn't want it any other way. He simply saw his own complex mix of emotions reflected on her face.

As they reached the door of their newly built house, Lloyd felt an immense feeling of completion. He was about to carry his bride over the doorstep into the house he had built with his own hands. Turning to her, he saw how breathless she was and felt his own excitement multiply. Feeling her slender form in his hands, he lifted her into his arms. Colette's small cool hands wound round his neck and shoulders. Pushing his boot against the door, Lloyd stepped into a fire-lit room; it was all he could do to keep himself restrained.

Carrying his precious bundle up the simple yet beautiful wooden staircase, Lloyd and Colette found their new bedroom. Lloyd of course knew every detail by heart and had put his greatest effort into making the room as comfortable and cosy as he could. A large four-poster bed sat against the wall; the lit fireplace running parallel with it. There were a few furs strewn like rugs across the floor and Phaidra had come by that day to ensure the bedclothes were neat and tidy and the couple had everything they could possibly need on their first night as man and wife.

Lloyd laid Colette down gently on the duck-down filled mattress. He straightened up and stared down lovingly at her flushed face. He was entranced by it for a few moments before the situation caught up with him. So…what was he supposed to do now? Colette shared Lloyd's sudden lack of courage. She was nervous but desperately wanted to share his body.

Colette's mind quickly remembered the conversation she had had with Sheena a few days before when she arrived for the wedding. She had worried that no one had taken the time to educate the little Chosen who was never meant to have to deal with this issue. She asked Colette about what she knew about sex. Sheena had then proceeded to explain the "ins and outs" to her. Colette had burned bright red through the whole conversation but felt her imagination now opened up to possibilities she would have felt tainted at thinking about before. But now it seemed to so right with Lloyd her husband hovering just by the bed, unsure what he should do next. She could see the quiet torment in his behaviour. He wanted to launch himself at her, but he knew he couldn't do that. She also knew he worried about Colette's experience with Manfred and his gang and the effect that had on her.

Colette Brunel Irving pushed herself upon her rear and reached for her husband's hand. Pulling him gently down beside her, she never let her gaze leave his. She stood up before him and realised what she wanted to do. Lloyd for his part just watched her, mutely; his whole body alive and on the edge of control. Colette's tiny hands reached slowly for the clasp which gathered the delicate satin of her dress together. Snapping it open, she felt the warm air of the fire bathe her skin as the material floated to the ground. Lloyd's breath escaped in a gasp. His wide brown eyes danced all over her body, his complexion bursting into a magnificent crimson blush. Colette's heart was pounding in her chest. She could feel her arms reach to cover her chest. It wasn't that she was uncomfortable with Lloyd's intent gaze exploring the delicate, subtle curves and planes of her body, but she had seen enough of Raine and Sheena to feel insecure about her own body. Lloyd noticed her nervousness and reached out for her wrists. He was trembling as he gently drew her arms away and gazed feverishly at the treasure she sought to hide.

"Colette…" he breathed almost inaudibly. "Y-you're beautiful…A-and you're not an ironing board!" He burst confidently. How the last few years had altered the physical appearance of the little late bloomer! She did not have an hour-glass figure, but her willowy, slender frame boasted the correct proportions in the correct place. It took the young man's breath away.

He rose to his feet, suddenly towering over his wife. She still wore her gloves and he reached to remove them. Colette began to unbutton Lloyd's beautiful red coat, pushing it tenderly off his shoulders and down his arms to the floor. Lloyd watched her quietly; entranced and turned on greatly by the fact that she was undressing him. As dense as Lloyd could be, he didn't miss the sensuality nor the intense pleasure she was giving him by simply touching him through the layers of cloth. Finally she had him down to his shirt and trousers. Unbuttoning his shirt, she smoothed her small palms over his wide toned chest; the simple action causing his skin to break out in goosebumps. His hands longed to reach for her hot milky flesh. He helped her take the shirt from his figure and held his breath as she carefully undid the buttons on his trousers and had him stark naked in a matter of seconds. Lloyd felt his face ablaze as Colette seemed transfixed by the sight of his nakedness exposed and stimulated.

They caught each other's gaze and Lloyd pulled his wife gently to him. Her bare breasts came into contact with his muscular chest and Colette felt a wave of new pleasure ripple through her, creating a whimper as it left her body. Lloyd tried to catch her eyes, barely capable of rational thought. Their lips came together in a new way. The kiss was different at the revelation they had born to each other. Lloyd's arms completely enveloped the small frame of the woman he had married: and he was thoroughly convinced she had become a woman. Gently they lay down together.

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Colette was more accustomed to pain than most girls her age, yet still she wasn't prepared for the agony Sheena had warned her of. Lloyd had hurt too, his own inexperience and high expectations bringing salty tears to his eyes. But they had persevered; learning ways to excite one another to the point where they could try again. In a matter of hours Colette had become an expert in her husband's anatomy. She knew exactly how far down on his abdomen the particular spot was that drove him wild and how the softest touch of her fingers could elicit the most delicious moan from low in his throat. He too realised early on how important it was to help his little wife find her particular pleasure. He was gentle, but surprised when she demanded him to be firm. It was confusing but unbelievably rewarding when he did something that caused little Colette; the innocent Chosen to cry out in passion. Eventually Colette's tightness relaxed a little and accordingly so did Lloyd's discomfort. They found a pace that they could each keep. Lloyd had questioned her over and over again; apologising for hurting her and asking her if she wanted to stop. Despite the stabbing pains at her very core, Colette shook her head vehemently; unwilling to give up.

When they finally reached the verge of their pleasure, Colette gripped Lloyd's tense, muscular shoulders. He was slick with both his and her sweat, and Colette's fingers melted into his flesh. He groaned rhythmically through his ragged breathing, each growing in intensity with a feeling he had never known before. It was past the point of pain now; further than he had imagined it was possible to go. Colette's frame flexed up to meet his one last time before he reached his moment.

With a feral cry, Lloyd threw his head back. Colette's body arched into his: her whole being soaring to the highest height. She felt the sun exploding through her body, scorching every vein with its heat. Letting her eyes open to catch the sight of him at his climax, Colette gasped and became lost in the scene. His magnificent wings burst forth, filling the room with light, almost touching both walls of the spacious room. They fully unfurled, stretching to their limit before relaxing in perfect time with Lloyd's body. Colette gaped silently at the sight before her. Lloyd's exsphere had been destroyed; how could…? It didn't matter; it was real. He was real: so real.

As the married couple slowly started to become aware of their surroundings once again, they lay panting in a beautiful heap of tangled limbs. After a few moments, Lloyd slowly, reluctantly withdrew from her heat and watched, eyes-half-lidded, his wife flinch as he took away that which he had worked so hard to let her taste. Pulling her into the most meaningful hug they had ever shared, they both wept gently in a myriad of emotions and sensations. He held her and promised her in soft whispers how much he loved her and how he would never leave her. Colette smiled despite her tears and the numbness and emptiness now pervading her body. He knew exactly what she needed to hear. It was all true. She had helped him become a man and really understand the hidden meaning in the term "husband". He realised that he'd give up everything else if he could keep her as happy as he knew she was now. With a sigh, he clutched her close, stroking her new but familiar flesh, waiting for sleep to claim him deservedly.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Colette's eyes opened slowly. She felt completely limp and as though she had had the best night's sleep of her life. Turning her head slightly, she met the sleeping face of her newlywed partner. His expression was relaxed as his long ponytail of brown hair fell over his bare shoulder. He looked so soft and peaceful in the spring morning light. Shifting closer the Chosen tangled herself in his arms. He stirred slightly in his slumber, his eyes opening slightly and focusing on Colette. His beautiful smile creased his features tenderly.

"Good morning Mrs Irving" he said; his voice grainy and rough from overuse last night.

Colette smiled warmly, content just to watch him fall back into a light doze. For the first time in the little Chosen's life, she had gotten to the heart of her dream. She had saved Sylvarant as she had set out to do from her very birth and had saved Tethe'alla; it's partner. She had been saved and had saved her partner too. The vows they had made; the secrets they shared and the flesh they had given to one another sealed their relationship into something she had never believed could happen: her dream. And as she woke on this most ordinary day, Colette realised that her dream was now her reality. To love, honour and cherish her Eternal Swordsman; her husband; her soul-mate; her Lloyd.

_Just a dream, _

_just_ _an ordinary dream.  
As I wake in bed  
And the boy, _

_that ordinary boy.  
Or was it all in my head?  
Did he ask if I would come along  
It all seemed so real._

_And he said _

_take_ _my hand,  
Live while you can,  
Don't you see your dreams lie right in the palm of your hand  
Right in the palm of your hand,  
Right in the palm of your hand._

_**Fin**_

AN: Wow a little stronger than I had anticipated. I feel though it brings the story to a suitable conclusion. It satisfied me to write it in the sense that I finally got to give Lloyd and Colette what they really deserved. I hope you enjoyed it too. In fact I really just hope you enjoyed the whole fanfiction and that maybe it'll inspire you to write LxC stuff of your own…not necessarily lemon…in fact if you are inspired to write a lemon because of this, don't boast that lol. I walked the line and I'm not setting a precedent for my writing. So you probably won't find this style any of my other fanfics.

A few points. Colette and Lloyd become Mr and Mrs Irving and while technically they could be Mr and Mrs Auron, Lloyd would probably be officially "Irving" if there was some registry of births on Sylvarant. I doubt he'd change the name he had for 17 odd years anyway. Lloyd detached his exsphere – not 100 how that's done, but I know it can be if a key-crest is fitted. I'm also unsure about what would happen to Lloyd's wings when the exsphere was removed, but I thought it was a nice touch to the love scene.

Anyway, I might just write a sequel to this at some point…we'll see. Thank you once again for everything and enjoy yourselves and take care


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